Behave like a Professor!

Life is a game… the better player you are the better is your chances of survival….

For me that was not a motto dictum….. I had inadvertently blurted out that to Sri Laxmi in a fit of anger but when it boomeranged on me from Anand Mohan it really caught me wild.. It did upset me and my thoughts…It slowly and surely swayed me like a coconut tree caught in the wind

Win or loose but play… ? should I or just stay away?

The semester was coming to an end and Dr Joseph- the ED called for a subject review meeting. Exams were just a week ahead and the kids had all gone for their study holidays. Teachers were free with the shutters down the teaching shops and to keep them busy was a big challenge for the top…

Why keep them busy?

Because the HQ thought that the academic community was the worst when it came to poli-tricking and left alone and idle the devils will all meander in rage … Even I thought the same, not because of my status as a pseudo loyal but I lived in that community and experienced the pains of a victim and the triumphs of the winner often.

We need to introduce new subjects.. said the ED… industry friendly things like Strategic HRM .. That seems to be kicking these days…

I will rename my subject as Strategic Brand Management .. said one Prof…

What do you call it now? Asked Anand Mohan who sat next to me in the meeting

Brand Management…..replied the prof….

Huh ….said Anand… and you call it industry friendly… ?

And probably keep the contents the same.. the same power points and teaching notes and even the same age old cases… said Prof Ram with sarcasm..

Strategic Sales Management… ? I wrote in my note pad… Huh… how funny ,,,, I said to myself as I scratched over it..….

This strategy term is misused… Said Prof Ram as if in pain that his patented chemical formula is misused by an unscrupulous horde of amateur scientists… any one and everyone seems to be dragging it ....

Strategy is no Draupadi.. said Anand Mohan with a laugh… Hey Dushasan….

In any case that is not the option that we have been looking for .. said the ED prevailing over the confusion..We need something new… concrete…some thing which when put across the industry will make heads turn…

Anand leaned over to my shoulders and said… they must say… hey that’s sexy…. How about a date?

I couldn’t help but laugh…

The contemporary issues in management has to be bought in…….said Prof Ram

Oh yes ….Oh yes,,,, cried the ED with a blush…you said it… we will have that ..we will freeze on that…

Freeze on what? .. asked many….

Contemporary issues… like say Contemporary issues in Banking…Contemporary issues in HR… wonderful !! … with the reddened face in full bloom the ED kept saying...

Holy shit .. said Anand… the other one was far better… the Strategic prefix….

I didn’t mean it… mumbled Ram… I just said it for example…

I kept laughing … and writing in my note pad… I didn’t want Dr Joseph to see my giggle but there was no escape…

He saw it and kept staring at it as if that was the issue there and not the contemporary issues in whatever bullshit…

I am serious ..said Dr Joseph..

And who is not?… questioned Anand…

Some people seem not to be.. said Dr Joseph with his gawk still fixed into my face… I knew that and kept drawing and writing in my note pad as if the target was not me.. it could be anyone else but me…

But if we are thinking of a revision we should think of something fruitful… really industry friendly…said Prof Ram….

I agree..said Anand even as he shared a wicked smile with me…and for that we need to talk to the industry.. it would be foolish to assume that we do some cosmetic changes and they will accept it graciously….

Precisely… joined Prof Ram

Now this was getting interesting for me… not the content.. I knew that this was a wasteful discussion leading to nothing.. things will remain the same.. but what amused me was the synergy… Ram and Anand was taking it forward like a preplanned strategy.. ooof… not the ‘S’ word again.. like a foot ball match ..pass the ball… ya got it.. I run… and again pass it to you.. got it.. you run… again pass it to me…

Ahem ahem.. I scribbled in my note pad again… the game is getting interesting!!!

Anand winked at me even as he peeped into my note pad and possibly read its contents…

You can write a book on this entire scrawl … he suggested.. and name it frustration !!

Get lost …I said… but I knew it made some sense, I also knew that his tantrums were becoming less irritating for me…

Behave like a professor..I said with a put on contempt …

He took his note pad and started writing…then drew lines over it and then again jotted over and over again…

Will you at least listen to the discussion Sukesh Menon? Asked Dr Joseph in a loud and acerbic tone which gave me a shock… the whole crowd turned to me as if they were seeing me for the first time…

Anand sat there serious, and looked like a professor with the rapt attention that he displayed and the contribution that he so very graciously bestowed during the discussion…

Will you at least listen? Did the old creep say that…?

I was set on fire even as the throng returned to the discussion mode.

Behave like a professor Dude… Anand wrote in his note pad and gave it to me…

Mission Impossible !

Prof Ram taught strategy or I can safely say he even lived in it.

Day in and day out he talked only strategy and more of strategy as if life was fully about that one term. He knew Jack Welch than perhaps the man himself and wrote about issues, alliances, mergers & acquisitions and the like which made him think of himself as an expert par excellence in his domain.

Lunch time was when he kept us updated about the latest book he was reading and the most recent piece of writing of his which was accepted by some academic journal or magazine and which would be arousing a spirit in us and inspiring us to write as well. Well by US I mean the rest of the teaching community at GIM, but Ram had disenchantment most of the time and it became worse after the advent of Anand mohan into the scene.

It was jokes, hilarity and more laughter for anything and everything at the faculty lounge where the whole group assembled for lunch. Anand was a humorist sans frontiers and made flutter and flap with his mere presence. Ram’s lessons on strategy and his directives and dreams for GIM almost got sunk in the noise.. for the first time in my existence in GIM , I heard and saw people laughing to glory with gibe and jeer top in the agenda…

Kudos Anand .. I said to myself even while refusing to be part of the laughter club. I was invidious at times at the man who like a magician, made us awe, who like a comedian spilled beans of laughter and merry and who like an acrobat did the rare games of audacity and yet walked free…

I kept wondering and almost hoping that he will be summoned by the top after his daredevilry that he displayed during the Delhi teams visit.

Nothing happened!

Dude ! you are a moron… he told me suddenly even as I was busy eating. I loved to laugh but this sudden camaraderie was somehow indigestible for me.

I flashed a smile but kept quiet and went on with my chapattis and my favorite potato fry.

If you eat potatoes like this one day you will burst…. Said Anand even as he sat opposite to me with his lighter sandwich stuffed with leafs and vegetables and a glass of fresh orange juice.

Eat healthy….. he said.. hit the gym…laugh a lot and that keeps you robust ….

Oh yeah …I said annoyed by his aggression … that shows

You hate me... don’t you? He asked me direct.. instantly to my eyes…

He had large and well defined eyes on which floated piercing brown pupil which locked with mine making me feel discomfited ….

NO ....I said loud even as I meant YES and he knew it… Eyes couldn’t lie in any case…

You know Sukesh… he said in a soft tone…

Yeah I know…. I said ,gobbling the potato pieces with delight… you are a born winner and the game is just begun… I know…

Ha ha ha ha .....he laughed …

I don’t have the habit of repeating the same stuff… he said… but haven’t you thought what am I up to?

Yeah I have… I said..but whatever you are up to Anand….At GIM you cannot change things.. you have to accept that…

Says whom? Anand asked me

Says my God damn experience..I almost thundered… you are new and take it from me … you are on one bloody mission impossible….

What if I am the chosen one? He asked me imperturbably

This guy was impossible..

Prof Ram was better that after some insistence he left his hapless victim alone and travelled unaccompanied to utopia.. this guy but stood on your head and had a sadistic bliss in irritating others …

HUH… I screeched in exasperation…

Impossible is nothing dude… he announced even as I stood up and walked outside….

Back in my cabin and after the days war with the
MBA kids and the power points, the cases and the teaching notes, I sat tired… teaching is what I enjoyed but too much of it was making me just a teaching machine… just an LCD projector…

Switch on and you are on… bang!!!

LCD projectors never complained but!!!

Anand Mohan came online in the internal mailing system…

Anand says hello…...a pop up window appeared on my screen…

I care my foot and no hello vello…… just fuck off….

Life is a game… the better player you are the better is your chances of survival….

Again said the pop up….

This time I sat and watched.. read it again and again…

I have heard this before..

some where…. some one …

Shit............ God ....this is the same thing I told Sri Laxmi after the game she played with me….

A splash of denim flooded me….

It grabbed my senses … my brain stopped thinking but my hands reached the intercom….

143.. I dialed and the ring went on…

Impossible is nothing dude… said another pop up which had a smiley :) laughing at me….

Fuck you … I shouted.. and banged the receiver on to the cradle…

Daggers and sheaths...part II

GIM was near to the sea, not the red one but the one which some one somewhere named as Arabian sea and the sight from the GIM building was simply stupendous. The central courtyard gave a panoramic view and as one went up in the lift, one side of which was open to the outdoors with a fibre wall, would get mesmerized by the sheer beauty..

It looked boundless, the vast expanse of green earth with ease merging with the blue sea….

Endless and eternal… as time…

Good Morning sir… some one said and I came back to life, I was in the lift going to the 5 th floor where an MDP meeting was scheduled and I was one of the invitees….

Hi… Good morning…. I said with a hangdog expression of having seen by a student in my dream world.

Suhail Khan … he said with an arm extended…second year MBA

Ohhh yes… I said with a smile… I knew only the guys who took Marketing .. this one was not one among them…

I am into Operations and HR sir… he said as if he too was a mind reader…

Too many of this tribe in GIM.... I thought…

I guess I miss some good lectures in Marketing… he said with a smile… that is what I hear from my folks…

I flashed my uneven row of teeth at the free appreciation that was coming on my way and that too from some one who never had attended my classes.

It was debatable whether he would have had the same opinion if had attended !!

Ha! ….I said…. you made my day Khan… I said with a beam and I meant it… Praise was something I liked, and that too about my teaching skills which I was not that convinced about.

Anand Mohan sat next to me at the MDP room where some corporate clients had come and where presenting their case, some sales issue which the think tank of GIM was trying to make look as a strategy issue with an intention of selling more of their expertise than to solve the client’s issue.

I now had to keep away from this new dare devil as well… Ram was a head ache always but it was easy to avoid him and take distant seats and in meetings like this one he would always prefer the front row and will be there discussing and debating quoting from the GE story and the like…Anand seemed adamant and stuck on to me, wanting to look like thick friends who had met some 15 years after graduation. I liked his presence but not his gallantry which he seemed to be putting on display even at the most inapt spaces….

The Delhi team has recommended for a seat raise …he told me in a hush tone

I stared at him for the outdated news that he was sharing… I mean it was an inevitable finale which all knew particularly after the meeting which ended up as a sham.

The Delhi team (who had come and gone) had been in a fix after the infringement from Anand and the high hopes that he raised in the process. I assumed that Prof ram would jump in the fray, outperform Anand and explain why the FACES were not telling it all…and why as a professional committee who had taken the PAINS to come all the way from Delhi ,how unprofessional it was to depend face reading as a tool to assess employee satisfaction of an institution.

Anand Mohan sat after the intrusion, pleased as his job was done, and possibly expecting veteran mouths to carry on .Ram was the alternative( at least as I saw it) but strangely he did not and bingo the VC stood up. Subramanian Iyer the shrewd tactician was on his legs when I wrote in my note pad…

THE GAME IS OVER!!!!

Let the faculty also speak… he said in a careful tone with an American accent that came naturally to him …. But since everyone cannot speak,due to the time factor, let us have one to represent us….

The chosen one was one of the loyals, who feigned surprise but it showed like the pre practiced expressions of wonder and marvel that the Miss world’s display when the crown is announced….

After the astute move, the master stroke by the VC it all went haywire… I found Ram dumb, Anand still smiling, some others fuming and most of the others falling back to reality after the brief and short lived hope… I always knew why Dr Joy and his team like mad depended on this old man…

I did not know the game here…Anand told me as if in a confession box and I came back to the MDP room.. Some one was still in argument with some one over something that was petty……. I did not know that the one who was asked to speak would sing praises and make it easy for the Delhi team

I smiled, with a ridicule at his ingenuousness.. I saw that the charisma and aura which was the other name of this man was failing but was the dirty mind in me sunny and gleeful at it ?

But you know what Sukesh…. Anand Mohan is a winner….. he said, in what if others would have said would have sounded like an empty audacity but for him suited well…. And the game has just begun…

He didn’t scratch thighs but left deeper lines in my mind…

Ram was better, he never carried himself into my thought and most of the time with him, I heard him, but rarely listened to him. Anand was different… he looked fearless, sounded bravo and up to the point…

That evening when I was about to leave and had just kept my bag and a fat copy of some business book( to give the serious intellectual look most prof’s carry one or two books home and back everyday) in the back seat of my car, a voice interrupted …

Can I get a lift sir…? Said Sri Laxmi as she stood just back to me, with her long flock of hair waving in the soft sea breeze and her large dreamy eyes in full flicker … she looked like she was carved out fresh from the setting sun…

A splash of denim fragrance out of the blue spread in the air… I hadn’t put any denim for a long time and it was for sure not from her either…

The game has just begun… some one whispered into my ears…