The burden of reason!!!

The ordeal of exams was over in a week, but for us the real exam began just then. No…. not the truck loads of answer sheets that was bundled and unloaded with impunity at our pigeon holes, but the dirty job that the King had put on our heads- me and Anand….

I had walked out of the room seeming in anger and rage over the choice… (Why me?) but more than the various factors that the top analysed and finally zeroed in me and my best friend (Did some one say when you have friends like this you don’t need enemies?) what annoyed me was Anand’s irritating glee at the admiration that we won at the Kings chamber… the practical wisdom that he was full of, suddenly became history and it kept fading every time he repeated “ it is a privilege” ...... I felt he was taking it to heart, as kids will learn multiplication tables, without meaning it, or knowing what was the implication.

For me it meant disaster… the more I tried to avoid being on the stage, the more I was dragged into it….

The huge portrait of Dr Joy at the reception was being removed when I walked out, this time alone to the canteen. I didn’t dispute Anand and his delight, didn’t venture to tutor him on how precarious would it be to preside over an enquiry commission at GIM where some students will have to be indicted at the end of the show… it would invite wrath if they were indicted, it would provoke fire if they were not… catch 22 as they call it…

Prof Ram was there in the canteen, with a big book (on strategy) and half a cup of tea which was vying for attention. He didn’t see me as I walked in and it was quiet like an ICU of a hospital. It was post exam break and the kids had gone home- away and free from the world of business studies and books,,, I went far from Ram and sat in a corner and regretted for not having a habit of carrying some book whenever I walked around. It was an easy curtain to hide…... It gave a shield of intellect while saving from glares and stares of a lesser than kind world.

Sri Laxmi walked in as well unsettling my plans of a lone afternoon where I could be myself and seen less and not on stage…

I saw you coming this side.. she said with an infectious smile which she carried as a weapon whenever she needed help…

Ohhh so you came in search of me… I asked sheepishly…

Yeah… she said with a grin and a sparkle in her eyes… I need to … who else but Prof Sukesh Menon , my first friend at GIM can be my saviour…

This time whose toilet ? … I asked her with lavish smile ,the reply for which erupted as a rage in her face. She was about to sit , but hearing me she didn’t and stood there staring at me…

How could you say that…. She yelled after a long gap even as tears rolled out from her cheeks as if they were just there, waiting for a nod…I hated this… God did a mistake by making women, and topped the mistake by bestowing them with the most lethal weapon .. tears which they used like an ATM card ..any where , anytime…

Ram turned around hearing the scream and saw her standing and in tears… I sat there stunned, like a criminal (I was an offender but …) I couldn’t react … in fact I couldn’t even move in spite of seeing Ram getting up and walking towards us…

Sri Laxmi… please… I some how managed to say…. I am sorry…. Please….

She was not that pleased but some how she left before Ram could start his enquiry….

He came and sat just opposite to me with his face full of question marks… Strategy and tea could wait as they were left alone where he sat … It was just a question of whether I would want him to ask me and then would reply or I will start the confession right away…

It’s about the seminar… I said and he didn’t believe it for sure….

Oh yeah… Ram smiled suggestively…. Is she sad that her speakers are not yet confirmed…?

I got the sarcasm but preferred to play the fool…

She is missing you in action…. Said Ram and as he leaned over the table hushing his voice to continue…there is a strong rumour in the faculty room…

I got a fright of my life… this bomb was not new to me and had heard it a couple of times ever since the toilet thing happened… ever since ED- the old bastard praised our chemistry… But I some how hoped that it had all died down…

I stared at his face even as I prepared my possible answers…I could defend it but I wanted to look genuine, convincing and not panicky for sure… I could say that we were just colleagues and nothing more that is if he was willing to listen….

He again leaned, this time too perilously close to me and with three legs of his plastic chair on air and one leg ready to take off…

Have you ever seen Sri Laxmi and Anand Mohan together..? he asked me even as he looked both sides to ensure absolute secrecy…He looked like a spy who was in a clandestine meeting selling nuclear secrets to the enemy…

WHAT? ......I asked… I was shocked at this O Henry twist… I rubbed off all the answers and arguments I had prepared in mind and sat fresh… sat straight and erect…

I didn’t hear you …

I said have you ever seen Anand and Sri Laxmi together?.... He repeated… or ever knew that they have some connection?

No was my answer, a firm big blatant NO….but I paused… I did rewind my mind button… it ran fast… backwards… and got stuck at a point… pause…..

Didn’t Anand call me/ SMS me once.. twice from nowhere… many times when ever she came to my cabin from her's to meet me…

Didn’t he echo the things that I had blurted out to her…

And hey Sukesh…. My mind suddenly raised an alarm… Remember she had a smell of denim when she came in to your car once asking for lift…

Anand and Srilaxmi…? Together…?

Yet I was not sure… I mean I was not sure whether Ram meant the same… I but knew that my eyes had popped out and I looked pale and bloodless…

They are lovers… said Ram…. from long time and I am told that he came here on her reference…they don’t talk to each other just to keep stories at bay.. Evenings they are but always together,,, many have seen them….

I was guffawed and Ram could read it easily from my jaws that dropped, and my eyes that suddenly and for no reason got wet..

You did not know this? Ram put his final nail as he took back his chair to a safe landing but making me afloat and more insecure….

Ram left me alone possibly with a contention of having ignited me or even probably wanting to share more but knew that I couldn’t take any more that day….

But I haven’t ever seen them together… I will not believe it until I see it… the rational self told the emotional self in me…the burden of reason, but was painful…

My mobile rang…

Anand calling………it said