Experiential humbug- part II

After the flop show of the alumni meet, no heads rolled, no fault finding missions were launched where oily faces and dirty giggles sat around and passed the buck.......

The father, the son and their holy spirits were all too benevolent on women....even when they erred and screwed up royally, they were treated with chivalry.....

Sri Laxmi was as young as the guys and girls who passed out in hundreds from GIM every year; some were even older than she was….. As the convener, she was taken non seriously by insiders and outsiders and the alumni… That was mistake number one ....

She took it lightly (worse!) and assumed that at GIM the HQ will take care of and she will just have to smile, shake hands with the hundreds that will throng the meet and deliver speeches and sound very nostalgic…That was mistake number two…

No one communicated properly to the alumni, some were invited, some were not, some got long mails, some got short ones, and the data base was to be blamed. No one ever FOUND OUT that it was not the alumni’s job the make and maintain a proper data base.. That was mistake number three….

And people hated GIM, most of them who left GIM would never want to come back ,no matter how beautiful and young was the convenor who invited was .. her starry eyes could not that easily replace the horror that they lived in their eyes... no one realised it and that was mistake number four....

Why the hell…? ....

I threw the note pad on which I was jotting down the reasons why the meet failed… no one blamed anyone, worse no one talked about it and the day next was just another day, except for the welcome banners that hung here and there and the gloomy faced students who were made to sit a whole day listening to dreary discourses and self eulogy ……but then gloom in there faces was an everyday phenomenon like the deep fried banana's in the GIM canteen...

So the conclusion is that when the inspection team is here we all should together work for the accreditation….team work matters…… it’s our common dream… said Dr Joseph…

Anand sat next to me in the conference hall and seemingly knew that I had left my body there and my mind was wandering….

He smiled and wrote on my note pad… GIM is trying international accreditation…The team is coming…. Another show to be put up…

I woke up to the real world from my one man commission ,finding fault with why the alumni meet bombed like a big fart and yet why it didn’t smell ….

Is it?....... I asked loud in a fit of fury mixed with anxiety topped with suspicion and seasoned with apathy,,,,,

Dr Joseph stopped his speech and paused for a second before asking… Yeah it is Professor Sukesh… Why? ....... you have any doubts…?

No sir… I muttered… I couldn’t tell him that it was just a co incidence and I was not replying to his insincere blather on team work…

He went back and listed on what was to be done by each faculty and others when the team comes calling...…

I could hear the likes of Prof Ram and others (who still thought of change and change agents) debating, suggesting, fighting, compromising, convincing, and arguing from the front rows..

I could see women (most of them the juniors) looking bored and worn-out from this cacophony to which they had no reason to connect to....

I could smell acids from hungry stomachs… it was a typically atypical sight…

I could feel team work…. Two teams were in action – the actives and the passives…

Every meeting in the conference room of GIM had this setting.. Half the crowd spoke.. the other half didn’t, the management will have a set agenda, which will remain intact after all the debate and disagreement which the first half will be bothered and the unconnected second half will not be, the first half would look into the clock and their watches wanting more time for the meeting, the second half would do the same but in desperation to flee…

Hungry Kya ? … Anand asked me…

It was about 1 pm and the hard sunny day it was ,I had a huge appetite …

Dominos? ... I asked in reply and we both laughed….

It seems Professor Sukesh Menon and Prof Anand Mohan has something valuable to contribute… suddenly said Dr Joseph (who noticed that we were not listening to his talk).

I was taken aback by this googly… it was unexpected….

Very true sir… announced Anand as he stood up….. I was even more shocked by this response…

I just have one question… what is new? said Anand....

What? .... Dr Joseph asked portentously….

This is like a school play enacted year after year… for those who have been here during the last visit by the same commission, it is the same…. The plot… the characters and even the dialogues… announced Anand with the same charm and power with which he had stood up like Moses the saviour, the last time when such a meeting was held.....

I didn’t hear the roar of the red sea this time…but could see the blue faces on the stage…..

The women (still unconnected) stared at Anand who stood there,waiting for an answer….

I flashed a smile…. At Anand and then to the ED’s face which had turned Red from Blue…..

Bloody bastards … he seemed to have said…

Same to you ,you ugly rotten creep… I said with impunity…

Behave like a Professor!

Life is a game… the better player you are the better is your chances of survival….

For me that was not a motto dictum….. I had inadvertently blurted out that to Sri Laxmi in a fit of anger but when it boomeranged on me from Anand Mohan it really caught me wild.. It did upset me and my thoughts…It slowly and surely swayed me like a coconut tree caught in the wind

Win or loose but play… ? should I or just stay away?

The semester was coming to an end and Dr Joseph- the ED called for a subject review meeting. Exams were just a week ahead and the kids had all gone for their study holidays. Teachers were free with the shutters down the teaching shops and to keep them busy was a big challenge for the top…

Why keep them busy?

Because the HQ thought that the academic community was the worst when it came to poli-tricking and left alone and idle the devils will all meander in rage … Even I thought the same, not because of my status as a pseudo loyal but I lived in that community and experienced the pains of a victim and the triumphs of the winner often.

We need to introduce new subjects.. said the ED… industry friendly things like Strategic HRM .. That seems to be kicking these days…

I will rename my subject as Strategic Brand Management .. said one Prof…

What do you call it now? Asked Anand Mohan who sat next to me in the meeting

Brand Management…..replied the prof….

Huh ….said Anand… and you call it industry friendly… ?

And probably keep the contents the same.. the same power points and teaching notes and even the same age old cases… said Prof Ram with sarcasm..

Strategic Sales Management… ? I wrote in my note pad… Huh… how funny ,,,, I said to myself as I scratched over it..….

This strategy term is misused… Said Prof Ram as if in pain that his patented chemical formula is misused by an unscrupulous horde of amateur scientists… any one and everyone seems to be dragging it ....

Strategy is no Draupadi.. said Anand Mohan with a laugh… Hey Dushasan….

In any case that is not the option that we have been looking for .. said the ED prevailing over the confusion..We need something new… concrete…some thing which when put across the industry will make heads turn…

Anand leaned over to my shoulders and said… they must say… hey that’s sexy…. How about a date?

I couldn’t help but laugh…

The contemporary issues in management has to be bought in…….said Prof Ram

Oh yes ….Oh yes,,,, cried the ED with a blush…you said it… we will have that ..we will freeze on that…

Freeze on what? .. asked many….

Contemporary issues… like say Contemporary issues in Banking…Contemporary issues in HR… wonderful !! … with the reddened face in full bloom the ED kept saying...

Holy shit .. said Anand… the other one was far better… the Strategic prefix….

I didn’t mean it… mumbled Ram… I just said it for example…

I kept laughing … and writing in my note pad… I didn’t want Dr Joseph to see my giggle but there was no escape…

He saw it and kept staring at it as if that was the issue there and not the contemporary issues in whatever bullshit…

I am serious ..said Dr Joseph..

And who is not?… questioned Anand…

Some people seem not to be.. said Dr Joseph with his gawk still fixed into my face… I knew that and kept drawing and writing in my note pad as if the target was not me.. it could be anyone else but me…

But if we are thinking of a revision we should think of something fruitful… really industry friendly…said Prof Ram….

I agree..said Anand even as he shared a wicked smile with me…and for that we need to talk to the industry.. it would be foolish to assume that we do some cosmetic changes and they will accept it graciously….

Precisely… joined Prof Ram

Now this was getting interesting for me… not the content.. I knew that this was a wasteful discussion leading to nothing.. things will remain the same.. but what amused me was the synergy… Ram and Anand was taking it forward like a preplanned strategy.. ooof… not the ‘S’ word again.. like a foot ball match ..pass the ball… ya got it.. I run… and again pass it to you.. got it.. you run… again pass it to me…

Ahem ahem.. I scribbled in my note pad again… the game is getting interesting!!!

Anand winked at me even as he peeped into my note pad and possibly read its contents…

You can write a book on this entire scrawl … he suggested.. and name it frustration !!

Get lost …I said… but I knew it made some sense, I also knew that his tantrums were becoming less irritating for me…

Behave like a professor..I said with a put on contempt …

He took his note pad and started writing…then drew lines over it and then again jotted over and over again…

Will you at least listen to the discussion Sukesh Menon? Asked Dr Joseph in a loud and acerbic tone which gave me a shock… the whole crowd turned to me as if they were seeing me for the first time…

Anand sat there serious, and looked like a professor with the rapt attention that he displayed and the contribution that he so very graciously bestowed during the discussion…

Will you at least listen? Did the old creep say that…?

I was set on fire even as the throng returned to the discussion mode.

Behave like a professor Dude… Anand wrote in his note pad and gave it to me…