Loyalty bonus !!!

At GIM three things were always notable..

The sword of discipline that hung over every head and the strange time sense…

The smiling face of Dr Joy hanging at the reception (in frames that is), which welcomed the visitor….

And the seemingly endless display of cars at the campus… the posh ones driven and /or kept by the management and the lesser expensive and economy ones by the teachers and others in the campus…

Dr Joy liked to see the cars in display as if in a car yard and hence no cars were allowed to be parked in shades.. Ludicrous it was but it was GIM and for him that again was part of brand building… the more cars parked across the campus, the richer GIM will look, he believed …

It was brooding hot in the morning when I parked my humble vintage Maruthi in the line of cars just outside the main building of GIM ….. Two days had gone after the vacation news was out and ever since that was the only talk of the town…. Faculty at GIM behaved as if they are going to attain heaven soon after the vacation..

After all they got two weeks off ... off the huge gates, walls that had ears, spies, oily faces, cameras that could be seen and the ones that couldn’t be, giggles and peeping toms… Two weeks off to sense and then again (alas!!!) they had to be back…

I had met Jesus the last evening and he had promised me a meeting the next day..… and when I walked into the GIM building I had only Jesus in mind and suddenly didn’t see Manohar as he passed me…

How are you doing Professor … he asked me … I didn’t exactly hear what he asked but once he did I looked back ,threw Jesus out of my mind and gasped….

Eh? … I didn’t know what to say ….. I didn’t hear him and since it was Manohar who spoke to the lesser mortals of GIM only once or twice a year I was confused……

I guess I said a weak good morning as he shook my hands…

There is a faculty interview happening and you will be in the panel … he said… the management has decided to include faculty members in the panels so that they get to select their future colleagues ….

I was aghast…

1.It was GIM and any such thing was unheard of.

2.It was the domain of the father, son or the holy spirits but not the son in law..

3.The emblematic question.. Why me?

I still was a pseudo loyal who looked like a loyal … this was the GIM way of rewarding loyalty … a loyalty bonus … you get to sit in the panel with the king and co and ask questions to aspiring faculty members of GIM.. Hurray.. !!!

After throwing my bag and books into my pigeon hole, I searched for Anand.. He was nowhere visible…I did see only Ram but choose to be away from him… at GIM even walls had ears that could decode even gasps, sighs and heart beats and I didn’t want them to hear mine…

I tried to meet Jesus before the process ( to talk vacation) but when I was asked (finally) to meet him he was already in the panel… the king in the centre, the VC on his left, the ED on his right, Manohar, Jesus, and the last seat kept vacant…

The King’s chamber opened before me, once Madam secretary gave the clearance.. My heart beat went up as if I was being interviewed for my first job…

The panel had an enormous smile… Jesus stood up and walked to me , almost hugged me and lead me to my chair next to him….

I felt my eyes wet.. NO ...I didn’t cry but I felt so very indebted to the family, that for a moment I signed a bond with them, to be theirs for ever…

Thank you sir.. I told Jesus… this is such an honour…

He smiled evangelically and touching my hands slowly said… I told you, you are more than a sub ordinate or colleague to me…

Interview processes at GIM was a funny affair.. some Prof X walked in with so and so years of academic experience and when it was time to discuss his Salary or package as it was called , the VC would put a rider.. See Prof X, we would ideally be wanting some one with more of industrial experience than academics.. You don’t seem to fit the bill, seeing from that angle…

X would puncture like a balloon exposed to the summer sun.. once he gets defensive, the deal would be struck…

When Y comes in with a truck load of Industry experience and almost none in teaching, and unload all of it with pride before the panel, the track would change…

The VC would say … that is amazing Y but we would be ideally (Sic!) looking for some one with some more academic exposure… You would agree that you are lacking in that area…

The rest is history… another deflated balloon, another heavy catch for half the quoted price, another round of smiles and mutual admiration…

That afternoon when finally it was over and as we walked out Jesus asked me to meet him in his cabin….

I am sure you know how to keep secrets.. he told me as he sat in his huge chair and gestured me to sit in mine.. His gadgets shown as flickering lights, his mobile phones, PDA set, this and that, wired and unwired habiliments that he wore as a decoration lay here and there on his table …

I was not sure about what secret he was referring to…

The proceedings in the interview room… he told me with a smile… not even Anand should know…

I had an uncomfortable grin… It was clear what he meant….

And yes you wanted to talk to me something… he suddenly reminded…

Oh yes… me.. I mean.. I am.. I stuttered and searched for words… I couldn’t talk ‘vacation’ to him … For the time being I was happy .. no vacation could bring me such a bliss…

Jesus Saves !!!

The 3 I cell in GIM was a dark and grumpy place .. The three souls that lived there ( along with a hell lot of lizards and cockroaches) knew only one boss and that was Jesus himself.. The first day of my adventure into the cave like dim lit place snubbed and pooh-poohed my thoughts and beliefs about the make of an industry interaction cell of a reputed B school.. It slapped on my face for having assumed that GIM actually meant it when from a large board that hung outside the cave it proclaimed.....“Industry Institute Interaction Cell”…

Post convocation is a lean season …all the familiar faces passed out , most of them joining their jobs, some of them taking a respite at their homes after having seen no life at GIM for two years.. Some of them joining their own business with an MBA tag.. Some quoting high prices in the marriage market with the tag and yet some jobless, hopeless and clueless in spite of the tag, or rather BECAUSE of the tag… GIM without its kids was a blank place and the immensity of the place added to the barrenness that glowered from classrooms and corners, from the canteen and the car park.. the noise was gone… a college without its students, was like a rose without its fragrance…

The teachers were all heavyhearted not because the kids had all gone but at GIM there was no concept of a vacation like in ordinary places… so even when the two – three months when the teaching shops where empty, the unfortunate teaching society had to languish in the frightening interiors of the huge place…

In a way it is better for the management to leave us on vacation .. said Ram as I came in to the faculty room where all my colleagues still sat.. I spend half my time in the 3 I cell with the lizards and cockroaches- they were far more amiable than the three odd faces that treated me as an alien and whenever I wanted to be normal , I climbed the stairs to reach the faculty office…

Why so? …… asked some one....

The idler we are, the more we gossip and statistics says that idle employees talk 90% about their management only….

And the rest 10 %? .. Anand asked..

Ram laughed and even before he could stop, I blurted out inadvertently.. May be rest 10 , they write letters about how if allowed they will change the system….

Ram didn’t laugh for this but all others did… I but didn’t hear the others; I just saw the power off in Ram’s face… I had a tint of regret but when I saw Anand and his positive reception I guess I quickly changed track…

Anand was still laughing when Dr Joseph came in calling for attention right from the door….

Now I have an announcement for all of you…he said…

Silence fell in the room as if Dr Joseph would have picked up the first guy who spoke and ask him to do a belly dance…

Just then Prof Cherian, the HOD also came in….

If winter comes can spring be far behind?.. mumbled Anand and needless to say, I produced an involuntary snicker…

ED puckered his brows at me, but didn’t venture to initiate a wrangle on that…

There was a representation made to the chairman asking for a vacation of one month for the faculty during the month of May –June.. he announced , for a moment immersed in the paper in hand and the next moment facing the audience, resembling a cow drinking from a bucket kept in its front …

I looked Ram, so did many others, huh…in fact almost every one,,,… he was the regular letter writer after all.. He sat shocked at the atrocious unanimity with which the academics at GIM at a split second decided that if it is a letter, Ram would have written it… …

Now it is decided that a sabbatical of two weeks will be granted for the faculty on rotation basis and at the discretion of the respective heads of the departments… .. ED went on...

It sounded halfhearted and half complete… questions galore and I could hear more of laugh from the ED than answers and his typical laugh with air escapes and giggles in between was more irritating than the idiots at GIM who panicked around him…

I stood up and walked off…this is one thing I hated in my fellow academicians, all through an MBA programme the teacher tells the students to work hard, think of no vacations and stuff and now this scramble..No wonder why teachers never become what they make their students off…

For me it was a fore gone conclusion… the HOD and his oil face lurked in my mind… Cherian would play a foot ball with my request, if ever I made one, I knew….

Why should you ask Cherian..? Said Anand as we retired to my new office at the 3 I cell… Jesus is your boss…

He leads … said Anand with a smile… lead me oh Jesus.. Why don’t you lead me in the middle of the air, and if my wings should fail me, wont you give me another pair?

I laughed at his acting… he was flapping his hands like wings … he was singing like a kinder garden kid….

And you know what, there is an LTC in the offing.. a leave travel concession… GIM at last is waking up to its HR issues…Anand stopped his wing flapping…

I wouldn’t believe it… GIM would be one last place to think of its people as Human resources…if at all people are counted it would come as the last, after brick, mortar, and all the inanimate stuff that modern management considers as of least important in organization building…

My face sulked… more because of the thought of an unfair vacation season where I may have to work and less because I may have to work alone… Did I for a second, hate my decision to pick up quarrels with my HOD and be his enemy?

And hey … that is bad Suk… said Anand with an open smile… just a minute ago you accused THEM of being so naïve and kiddish that they want a vacation.. and now ..?

Anand left it unfinished.. I knew I had to begin from there…

I realised that I was just another one in the annoying crowd….. I wanted to go.. I wanted to break free and attain salvation and who else but Jesus could be the savior and the only route…

All the King's men !!!

The annual convocation day.

The big wigs of GIM in convocation attire- long robes with all its silk and golden brocades, the hoods, head caps and its golden tassel danglers, the paraphernalia and pomp which every one seem to mirth at , the marching tunes, the rows of students in black robes with golden borders which but by design stood way behind the ones their teachers and the management wore , the smiles , the hugs, the relief in faces that were about to escape, the contented parents, the dinner waiting, the photographs, and the long speeches that was waiting to be vomited from the big guns that sat fully loaded on the stage and finally the moment when each student walks up to the stage with his head held high , shaking hands with the guest and takes his or her certificate and pausing for a photograph…for the ‘convocated’ it was a perfect ending for a not so perfect journey …

Teachers beamed from their seats as the function began. I sat in the second row with Prof Ram next to me and Sri Laxmi just in front. I could see Dr Joseph running up and down with his Aide-de-camp, the oil faced HOD as if they were organizing the whole thing and as if without them, none of the 370 odd kids would pass out that day.

Ram scratched my thighs and said… pretension of the highest order… it is not important how you work, but it is important how you show you work!

Life is a show sir.. I said philosophically......some are show masters

And some just sit and watch … said Ram smilingly…He wanted to scratch again but I skillfully dragged my thighs out of his antenna’s reach…

Ladies and gentlemen .. came Anand’s voice….Welcome to the 16 th annual convocation of God’s institute of management…

Anand was in his best as the anchor … Every year the onus fell on to some faculty .. many have done it but never with the grace and surge like Anand did the MC job… he has immaculate English , with its intonation and accent so spotless and precise , wisdom, wit and words flowing like a clear stream …….

After the long speeches of all and sundry who sat on the stage, the dictums and sermons on life and secrets to success, it was Dr Joy -the King’s turn…

I knew his speech almost word by word…at least the idea remained unchanged year after year and I switched off… I was already hungry… the sounds of my stomach was much more appealing than the empty hum that the unceremoniously fat grand master of the GIM circus delivered that evening…

The best part of the convocation this year was you sir… the kids seem to unanimously declare as they crowded around Anand after the official function and vied to click photographs with him… I walked around unwanted by the photo mongers and feigning to be unperturbed by the flicker and flash that people in robes and their entire din created…As Anand put it once, it wasn’t entertaining to pass off like a ship in the middle of the night…


Looking dull… said Sri Laxmi, as she struggled with a big piece of chicken that refused to plunge into her plate…

And you look quite active.. I said mockingly even when I had my eyes planted at her attempts to get the chicken piece into a ladle spoon and then to her plate with elegance …

You women are quite adamant … I said.. why don’t you take another piece and give way to others..

She wouldn’t listen and tried with even more ferocity as if I was standing there for the same chicken piece… and bang… ! it launched itself to her plate with a thud and with a large gobbet flying and landing on her gold and pink sari…

I laughed and she fumed… For me the best part of the convocation this year was not the show which was done, but this one…

Anand joined us after the photo session but by then we had almost reached the end of our dinner… Sri Laxmi had washed the oil and gravy stains in her sari, which but remained as a shocking reminder of her failed adventure with a bowl of hot chicken curry…

This is awesome .. said Anand .. to see so many happy faces, so many young guys and gals walking into corporate life… I feel so proud….

I didn’t speak; instead I concentrated on the ice-cream…

You no longer go to the gym isn’t it ?.. said Sri Laxmi…

I do….. every month I go and pay the months fees… I said and laughed at my own joke..

Anand and Sri Laxmi that night, either had gone down drastically in their humour appreciation skills, or they had a ploy not to encourage my crude sense of humour.. not any more…

And you don’t feel happy seeing our happy faces… I said with a large globe of ice-cream stuck in my throat …its not every day that GIM gives its subjects such sumptuous feasts…

Anand looked me, and making sure that his fiancé has her attention elsewhere furtively whispered.. FUCK U !!!

The ice cream globe went in with ease !

Ah…. Here is our man… in came the voice of the king who came in with his entourage…. They were still wearing the convocation robes as kids would wear their school dancing dress all the way back home, after the school day…. We stood up- half in amazement at the sudden royal interference and half in reverence ….

Great job professor Anand Mohan… said the king as he first extended his arms to an unsuspecting Anand who still had a glass of juice in his left hand and a spoon on the other.

Then the King hugged the MC of the day and proceeded for dinner with all his palanquin bearers following him.

Sri Laxmi started giggling the moment the group left , and I joined her, much to Anand’s dismay … The group went from corner to corner and table to table , throwing pleasantries at parents and their wards , a shake hand or two to the teachers and the guests and then proceeding to attack the food counter… I could see Jesus clung to his mobile phone most of the time and couldn’t see Manohar- his brother in law who was noted for his absence.. after all such occasion are where the King’s family show cased their unity in diversity..

The Maharajah’s of Mysore ..I said to Sri Laxmi in a hush tone … on a given day every year used to visit their subjects like this…

Sri Laxmi raised her eye brows…

Anand filled in… that was on Dusshera Suk .. and they used to go naked…..

Sri Laxmi sat shocked…and I said..

But I am sure that one would have looked far decent…

And then she laughed… her ice cream fell all over the place, and still she laughed and she almost fell down.. Anand tried to hold her arms but she slipped and fell, this time really down from where she was still laughing……

Anand stood there like an idiot, with one hand up with the spoon still in it and the other one scratching his ass!

In Hot and Sour chicken soup !!!

It gets funny when adults behave like kids.. most of us know that but quite often we do not… If we sit and watch unconnected, most of the games people play would look toddle like, and some times even worse…

GIM after the awards looked like a crèche where kids played unperturbed by the outsiders world… I for a few days was one among them, refusing to come to terms with the fact that I hadn’t got a toy which some other kids in the crèche had been given to play with and hence I wouldn’t talk to them- any of them … I sat alone most of the time as if I was practicing the role of Devdas the lost lover, sans the bottle of course… it was naïve but for me to realize the extent of my naiveté, Anand had to come back…

Exams had begun and as usual at GIM the teachers who supervised were more strained than the kids who wrote their papers…the ubiquitous camera that made instant actors, forced us to be in our toes- as Johnie walker ads would say- keep walking…

On the second day of exams, when I came to my cabin after handing over the days answer sheets, remaining question papers and all the stuff to the exam department,there lingered a strong smell of denim.. Anand was back, I knew… …

What about a lunch out Suk? ......He asked me as we met… He looked far better than he was when he left fifteen days back… he still was a poor version of his earlier self but for me, Anand by then ,was some one who was more important than his looks were.. he had slowly walked over the definition of charm and charisma… even with his frail figure and bald head he was as alluring as with his David posture and macho looks…

When you hug me… he said .... I feel a lot relieved..

I laughed and said… it should have been my dialogue.. you snatched it from my lips you @#$%^&*…

Sri Laxmi drove her car and surprisingly chose to remain silent…..she was a slow driver and every time we traveled with her at the wheels, Anand showered his consummate sense of humor on women driving quite unkindly and she used to reply in her usual aggression… That day but, she was neither the same chatterbox who she generally was, nor the tit for tat specialist that she was with me…

What if you get an offer from another B school? … Anand asked me suddenly, catching me quite raw with my reaction…

Another B school? ….

Yeah……said Anand… a better one.. a better managed one, where dining tables and board tables would not be the same, where jerks don’t do things at the whims and fancies and still call it management, where they teach management and practice it as well…

GIM was none of this, and I know that ….but …..

Sri Laxmi and her car had taken us to the restaurant …

I didn’t dare to restart the topic.. I know Anand would…

Sitting with his soup bowl he did as I anticipated… his eyes, which once had an unusual glitter now had gone deep inside… his head showed signs of his hair coming back but his wavy hair that would flutter in the breeze was for sure missing…….

Would it be wrong if I say that you have gone jealous…? He asked me, in a voice which but was sharper than ever before, as I was taking in my first spoon of hot and pepper chicken soup…

It got stuck… the soup and the question….a drops of tear each, from my eyes made it impossible to see anand, again because of the soup as well as the question….

Jealous of…?.... I managed to ask finally, leaving the soup on the table….

May be every one, except me…he said….

I am not .. I protested… yeah ....you deserve to be in the ten, but not many of the others,,,,,

Is that your problem, or the fact that you are not in there… He again asked as Sri Laxmi sat stirring her spicy parsnip and carrot soup bowl, as if she was hunting for some treasure….

Both are same.. I said as even as he stopped me …

No .. he said firmly…. and you know that…..

I didn’t know that but now I knew that there was a me in me that I didn’t see, but he did…

I deserve to be there Anand… I said … that is my only problem….

You know why you are not there? ... he asked unabashed....

I didn’t know… I wanted to know though…

We teach in a B school Suk… here the kids learn from us in the class but more than that from outside the class…. Anand said as if I didn’t know that basic funda of B school teaching….

I gave him a "PLEASE DON’T GIVE ME A LECTURE" look…

I know you know that.. he said with a smile…. But you don’t know that outside the class you are a zero… you haven’t left a mark on the minds of the kids….you couldn’t be a role model for them… you couldn’t stand up in their minds when they think of a teacher they adore…. Anand Mohan could easily be that but my pleasure will be the day when Sukesh Menon does it…

I had my eyes wet again, this time not for the soup….. I had long forgotten it, it wasn’t leaving any nice tingle in my mouth… he hadn’t say anything new.. I knew that, and yet I didn’t know any of it….

Sri Laxmi continued her treasure hunt in the soup bowl , even as Anand finished his soup and the bearer came to take further orders….

Forget EMEP, forget all the dreams to change the system.. but remember Operation applecart.. he told me holding my hands,,,, You have the thing in you Suk…. You just have to see it… hold a mirror to your inner self…

I didn’t need a mirror.... with Anand sitting opposite, I really didn’t….

Forget Management … he said and called the waiter.... let's order some Chicken curry !!!!

The Rules of Differentiation!!!

Anand again went on leave for his periodic check ups and medication.. I couldn’t get him to advise me every time I wanted to..If I was allowed I would have secretly video taped all events and meetings and show him to read between the lines, hear the unspoken among all the spoken words and unknot each smile,,, … Students were away on their study leave ,only to be seen in one’s and two’s, here and there…

It was during one of those days the announcement came. The annual increments for the ten best faculty and the best teacher award (that the king had promised) were announced. I could hear murmur when (in an unusual style) an office note that passed from cabin to cabin by the hands of Jhansi William, declared the winner who was a dark horse that emerged from nowhere… I guessed the mumble was both about the person and the method of communication…

For the normal, it would be a search in to find their name in the list.. it was money and more over there was no point in being there if you couldn’t be in the first ten,,, But at GIM everyone weird and wonderful… people clamored and discussion started right in the spot .. the paper refused to move from cabin to cabin… it got lost some where but didn’t matter, everyone knew the content..

The fortunate ones smiled, the less fortunate ones garbled and the doubtful ones, with no pre agenda and notice, assembled at the common area of the faculty room…

I didn’t smile or stupor… I for sure knew that I wasn’t the best of teachers, but could have easily placed my self in the first ten.. Among the 40 odd teachers at the B school, but in reality,I was not in the first ten and I didn’t complain.. I didn’t bother to read the list again… for me it was only the case of a missing name- mine…

Sri Laxmi joined me at the canteen… I knew she will start the topic..Why? What? Did you know and all the stuff.. But she didn’t .. she sat like that was no news at all…

Women always amuse me by their strange demeanor … you could never predict them… She didn’t ask or talk anything and strangely I felt odd.. I wanted her to initiate the talk so that I could lash out.. may be growl at the mammoth system like a dog barking on darkness … she but chose to remain like a mobile phone.. ring only when she is not expected to, and not to ring when she is badly anticipated to… Miserable !!!

Your problem is simple.. she said at last, leading to the topic…see me.. I am not worried because I didn’t expect.. where there is no desire , there is no despair..

She had a “am I not great” look in her eyes which glistened.. her stupid philosophy didn’t entreat me to reply but her logic did…. Where is she and where is ME?

What the heck? ............I almost shouted… I didn’t desire for anything.. and even if I did what is the harm..? I know I deserve it…

She giggled…. Sir you know what.. you are contradicting … you didn’t desire it but you know you deserve it and now you have gone desperate …

I didn’t speak, for loss of words for sure and the sight of good old Prof Ram coming in to the canteen…

He walked straight to us… I knew you would be here.. he announced even as he was only half way through…

It didn’t take a genius to guess my where about in times of stress.. stress.. Why should I be stressed.. WTF? ..........I kept telling my boiling mind…

Don’t you think that the whole thing is a sham..?

Ram said as he sat, with a smile of having proven his postulate of "Nothing will change in GIM"…

You mean the award..? asked Sri Laxmi as if she didn’t know the art of speculation…

Of course….. Said Ram with a thump on the table… what is the criteria, I am asking?

Asking whom… ? .....I said to myself…
Me, who only know to run to the canteen revengefully to eat banana fries when driven to a corner ?
Or this stupid girl who never ever wanted to be a teacher in the first place?

He answered to that mind talk of mine… I know you are the wrong person but was wondering whether you still think that these guys can get anything right…

I told him a feeble NO but Ram as usual could see me.. why Ram, any one could read my face like a comic book…

I don’t want it to sound like – you didn’t give me the award so I rebel… said Ram.. but the criteria should be transparent…

Ram was in the list of Best Ten… so I guess he didn’t dispute that part… the criteria of the best teacher award was the only issue … HUH….. I said to myself and took another banana fry to eat…oil dripped from each piece like my HOD’s face…

Each banana fry, for me represented the sullied system.. I knew it is bad but I was in it….
I couldn’t fight it, hence I ate it…

I stood up even as Sri Laxmi looked perplexed and Ram clearly agitated…

Where are you going? … asked Sri Laxmi visibly shaken at my irreverence …

To my cabin.. I said with ridicule… I have to work hard.. I have to be in the number ten list at least next year…

I didn’t look back as I walked out with a thud which later on looked to me like too much of drama for the wrong cause, enacted to the wrong people… The apple cart that Anand used to talk about was upside down… I didn’t care what Anand would have said to this reaction…. Being an ardent fan of the likes of Stephen Covey –he would have said some absurd thing like “it’s how you react to an issue which makes the issue look important”

Suddenly even the theory of relativity that I used to rely on every time a student feed back is taken also looked invalid…Some strange rules of differentiation were being applied.. if f(x) = x n then ..HUH….. I never got it right….

Suddenly, I saw a plot… shady figures devising stratagem to unseat me… I saw slimy and oily shapes of all sizes descending down and dancing around my very existence.. Their holler and cry broke the silence,,, their long and foul tentacles stabbing through the gruesome darkness caught me….I didn’t want awards and increments… I cried….just let me go…. please…

If it was not for Jhansi William who woke me up ,I would have cried out loud….or did I?

Sir.. there is a meeting at the chairman’s cabin… every one has gone….she said looking at me as if she was a kid who just came out of a scary house and I was the operator...

I looked around.. no dirty creatures as in tooth paste ads… no heart breaking laughter.. no friends and foes.. I was all alone and for the first time I felt good ……for a change, silence and darkness didn’t threaten me, at least not as much as the maddening crowds that lived there....

The Chess board !!!

That was the last day of the annual campus placement season. GIM was no IIM and hence there was no placement week and no day zero’s and day one’s. It still was far better than many thousands of also ran B schools which never saw a corporate stepping in to select students for jobs… the last day the number of students attending the recruiting programme was quite less (others having got placement offers already)

I had just returned from my last but one class where contented faces gave me quite a respite….. I didn’t care whether they where relieved that finally it is over or whether they were actually in love with my classes… Cheerful professors sat, stood and shared jokes in the common area of the faculty room…for most, their teaching plans were hitting the last lines and in a day or two the teaching shops will close shutter and leave students for their study leave….

After the camaraderie and patch up that followed the big fight, it was all serene.. For a long time of a week, GIM looked like an ideal place to work.. People took care of their business, and I was slowly getting attuned to the change that Anand always prophesied would come.. Meeting happened between me and the HQ about my taking over the corporate relations team,( under Jesus of course) and after every meeting I got convinced why I should not walk into that trap. I but couldn’t say a no , in spite of the awareness that most of the problems in life came from either saying a yes too fast, or saying a no too late.. In my case the NO was an issue..

The announcement is coming today Prof Sukesh Menon… said Anand as we sat in the common area, sipping tea…

I knew… even with the fight and fury among my co prof’s in the back ground, my worry was the summoning to the Kings cabin…

The corporate relations team is being widened…. Prof Sukesh Menon will now be in charge of the 3 eye cell… said Anand as if he was the kings’ drummer…

Anand had gone mad. He didn’t even care that Ram was there just next to us, and as I dreaded he turned to me and said…. You know why? Prof Agarwal who was handling it has resigned … it is supposed to be secret … this guy left on incompatibility reason …….

I sat with a question mark blooming on my face …

With?... I asked quite a stupid question… at GIM all such areas as corporate relation fell under the direct regime of Jesus and the faculty who “coordinated “ it under him often has nothing much to do…At least that is what I understood till then ….

And you are simply walking in… said Ram as if he was reading a condolence message… he didn’t say that I was the first outsider to ever have had the good fortune to do this job (thankfully) !

Simply… !! HUH.. how dare he say that…I mumbled... I didn’t walk in simply….when I met them, I nodded and approved all the theory as to why it was “important for my career to also take care of the industry interaction part along with my teaching and whatever research I was doing”…

I smiled in endorsement of all the pep talk as to how good it would be to have a team of my great self, Jesus and the others in the I-I team.. I was all in concord to the gorgeous picture of GIM and its perfect I-I team. The only gap was mine and only I could fill it… The VC made the cake and Jesus topped it with his “you are my brother” icing… I hated such cakes but I ate them too often without any protest…

So that means…. ? I asked naively looking at Anand, as if he decided things, (but only after Ram left the place)…..

Anand didn’t blame my stupidity… I guess he was used to it by then,,,….

That means you are chosen because they think you have some compatibility with Jesus…

Jesus… I called out inadvertently...

How can be such a serious area handled with such laxity… I wondered as words fell out without my consent…

Laxity is your assumption suk.. said Anand and he sounded real… They are playing a game.. like chess ..until you can foresee some three moves at least in advance you possibly cannot survive…

I was flabbergasted .. I didn’t see so much of postulation and hypothesis behind my meeting the management and then again, I didn’t know them as Anand knew them …

The power to ideate, fantasise and assume makes man different from other animals.. said Anand…

Shut up.. I said….. you sound like you are the next Ram here… why do you see only negative… ?

Well dude,,,,, what is a positive without a negative? He asked…

I didn’t reply… I couldn’t win him in arguments …

You cannot defeat me possibly by your tit for tat…. I still said …

I don’t have to…. said Anand… you are doing it yourself…

Anand always told me - not every smile springs from a smile… at GIM for various reasons, smiles looked like smiles for me and if at all I read between the lips, I read it wrong…

I was being moved in the chess board ..I saw kings and queens who planned and executed strategy.. I saw brave soldiers who fought and died battles for some one else… I heard a lot of sound and fury, saw a lot of blood and dust!

But what the hell was a joker doing in the chess board?

The birthday boy - Part II

The debate wasn’t yet over! It had just begun ,but how would one predict the future at that point of time when from the Kings chamber people came out ,all in smiles and shaking hands…

It was not an angry sermonizing from the majesty’s side with all of us including the mighty samurais who fought, in thoughtful listening… the king took a “Look you are all professors, who am I to advise you” tone, which I thought showed him as shaken…

Professor Ram was asked to speak to which he said he was thankful( as if he was giving a thanks giving speech after having got the Best teacher award) and went on to describe how for Professor Mathew everything what others did, he did in particular,was wrong…

Everything? ......asked Jesus with a kid like face.. His black face was an abode of expressions and he was a first-rate actor..

One day Anand Mohan applied some body spray before he was walking to a class… said Ram…Prof Mathew shouted at him for that….

People looked into the oil tanker as if he was a gang rape accused sitting in the trial room..

Anand was sitting next to me and he nodded his head in acceptance.. yeah My HOD did that .. his nod said…

He makes fun of my articles and research papers and terms it well packed nonsense… said Ram, making the crowd laugh.. I am sure the terminology went well even with the king and his left and rights, as I could see a giggle running amok for a second and then bhoomm… evaporating…

Professor Mathew Cherian remained soundless, quite oddly, given his character he should have by now stood up and put another brawl…

It is a problem even if we have some loud talk.. said Ram, this time looking at me… I mean it is a faculty room; interactions are bound to happen… the management does not expect us the teachers to work in water tight compartments do you?

The management didn’t reply… did they expect us or didn’t they? No one said and Ram didn’t seem to expect a reply either….

The HOD looked like some one, a moron who despised people talking to each other, a tyrant who detested free flow of ideas, voice, noise and people, a despot who even hated the smell of denim..

“What a mischievous sprite!!!!” I was sure people would have branded him…

It was interesting… the whole process.. At GIM such things were new.. the fighting among the faculty was new because there was a common enemy always – the HQ – with whom every one fought at least in the war zones inside their own minds…. The trial was even more amusing where every one sat, people spoke and every one listened….

What you think will happen?...... Anand asked me…

I shrugged.. I missed my note pad where I expressed better than I did in my face…. I was not an evangelist after all!!!

I told you things will change… Apple cart is running…

This is not your change.. I ridiculed him… this is mere accidence...

Think before you talk Suk… Anand smiled… the fight was an accident, not the reaction to it…

He probably had a point…

What an amazing birthday for you dude.. he said and smiled ….

Professor Mathew refused to talk when he was asked to… I felt glad that he didn’t..the dirty me in me, giggled as the old man sat there ,oil dripping from his face , and with an odd feel of remorse and revenge in his face, like a strange cocktail that adventurous drunkards experiment with….

You should raise such issues in a proper forum Professor Ram.. said the VC pitching in… I hadn’t seen him for a long time in action, old age was catching up in his face and in his speech as well,,,, ……don’t you agree that it was a flaw on your side to have flared up on such minor irritants?

I thought Ram would explode yet again… Minor irritant is a term that would have made even me detonate.. Ram but remained smiling… He wasn’t the same Ram who reacted for everything in his own predictable way… no one was the same.. not even me… IS this the change that Anand talks about?

I guess this issue needs a serious attention… said Anand standing up and stirring my silent bucket of thoughts…

This fucker is so unpredictable, I thought….

He didn’t look like Moses the savior, he didn’t stand in a posture that made him look like David.. he was now bald and his frame much bony than that of the past…

This meeting is indication enough that the management is fully considerate of the consequences of what happened today… he said in clear tone that made every one listen….. under the roof of this great institution, under the eyes of our students, when teachers fight like street dogs…

He paused and looked at Dr Joseph the ED (who sat stressed beyond recovery) and said .. Even though I was answering to an accusation I think I went over board when I fought with you sir… I sincerely apologise…

Now this was the Googly…I always think that I knew this guy like the concepts of marketing that I teach and when I underline the thinking he mutates into something new…

He was still standing when I saw his eyes clogged and his words fell on the table like hot drops of blood…

This is a just a symptom, like bleeding nose for a cancer patient.. The sooner you detect the reason the better it is for the system…

Pain and more pain ripped through the faces in the room.. this was one of the instances where silence was a torture , more than words could ever portray ….

He had a smile as he sat, the pain in his eyes refusing to blend with, or even accept the smile in his lips…

I didn’t clearly see what happened next, I knew that Prof Ram had shook hands with Prof Mathew ..

I saw tears, I heard laughter and when I touched reality, Anand Mohan looked like David Copperfield, the Magician …

UFO>>>>!!!

I returned with a heavy heart, (well! a heavier heart) than I left when the King called me… petrified like a cattle in the meat shop I was in a dawdling crawl to the kings abode but in return I ran, literally… what happened there is but a different story altogether…

I returned to the faculty room to witness a huge noisy hubbub.. I could hear shouting from a corner and could hear Ram’s voice…I could see a crowd and that included some students..

You are an impossible psycho…....came up the voice of Prof Ram.. and you better get treated before you totally rot this place….

Now this was too much, I mean..... it was not at all a clue at the GIM faculty room…it could be any one on the other side.. almost every one there, could fit into that title...... Impossible psycho…

Do you know whom are you talking to…… I saw as I walked (or ran? ), the well oiled face of Prof Mathew Cherain, My HOD..

I hadn’t had any moment’s gap to think whom to support… I needed no gap to judge, in a flip of a second that it would be the oily jerk that would have created the ruckus…

I am the HOD.. screamed the man from his cabin.. he was shaking like a drunk facing a storm ….

The story is public …..retorted Ram in such big decibel that will put even airports to shame….… even the gate watcher knows how creeps like you make it to the top…

Dr Joseph , the ED was seen rushing from nowhere frenetically, seemingly to save his aide-de-camp … his face was more distorted than normal and had turned crimson…

He, looked like was called to fight the fire that was on…

What the hell are you all doing here? …. he shouted at us- the on lookers…Anand and me in the front row…

ED seemed to have forgotten that 'when shows are on, crowd will gather',,,,

People went back a little but stayed put, the show was so entertaining to let it go..

What is this ? ….I asked Anand hoping to hear the story from its beginning…I was like some one who walked into a cinema post interval... the climax wasn’t spicy without knowing how the story developed…

Will tell you… this was brewing for some time now.. said Anand with a wicked smile… volcanoes better erupt than hold back..

The HOD looked like an overflowing oil tank….. slipping and flowing now and then ,here and there.. worlds failing to match his fiery facial expressions…

Now this was new for me.. the most revered senior professor at GIM fighting with a greasy lunatic… when the one professional I adored, was in battle with a qualified schemer , I knew for sure who would be the reason…

What is his problem.. argued Ram with the ED who tried to pacify the war lords.. … why the hell he has to poke his nose into my affairs.. ?

And his dirty ass into almost every ones.. said Anand with a stupid grin…

I laughed and laughed a little loud…

The ED turned to us, leaving the battle front..

Now aren’t you ashamed..? he asked me and Anand.. you are enjoying this nonsense..…

We were startled, I mean I for sure was.. I didn’t had the time to see and analyse Anand and his face,,, I just didn’t get enough time to even form my defense before be jumped on us again…

Sir.. would you stop it… Anand raised his voice to the old man who looked like he was about to eat us alive… Now if YOU cannot control your colleagues fighting that is because YOU fed it.. YOU groomed and nurtured it.. That is your headache.. Don’t try to put a show on our expense.. You are no bloody KING here…

What? …..Taken aback, but not to give up the old man barked bizarrely like an angry dog would when thrown stones at it..… What did you say…?

The war front had changed… the crowd now got a new show to watch.. I don’t remember what Ram and Mathew Cherian did at that moment because in this new flank attack that Dr Joseph had opened, I was also a party…

I said what you heard.. said Anand smiling.. if the faculty are fighting and when you ask them to stop ,if they don’t stop, that is because you have given them the wrong leadership by example.. You have been impotent and incompetent as their boss… now just because you think we will obey and never question don’t try to attack us… the same guys who pay you ,pay us as well…isn’t that clear?

Dr Joseph and his red face look like a broken tomato.. Why not? ....Hit so hard, it had to smash…

Stunned stillness provided a strange background to this uncanny anti climax.. No one talked and every one retired to their cabins and pigeon holes, waiting for the next step…

I saw Dr Jesus coming in, I knew it was going to happen but compared to what I thought would happen, he went directly to Ram’s cabin .. Heads that didn’t dare to show up till then slowly came up..

Buzz… Anand came in my chat box online……

You don’t talk if we are called.. he wrote.. I will do the honours…

I knew he was quite disbelieving about my conversation skills in testing times, that too with the bosses…Anand had this.. he was always certain and cheerful.. may be that is why I wanted to be him ….

I had a smile while I waited…

We will have a meeting… announced Jesus after his talk with Prof Ram standing at the centre of the large room where the faculty sat, lived, played, shared jokes, gossiped, read, prepared, made cut copy and paste research and now fought as well … in another 10 minutes in the conference hall… I request all you ladies and gentlemen to be there…

He walked out with the intended pun looming at the troposphere and Jesus looked like an alien who just came out of a UFO that was parked in the garden outside…

The traces of my birthday cake were still lying scattered here and there, laughing at me and the whole system…

The birthday boy - Part I

Why do we celebrate birthdays? ..... asked Anand while I was engrossed in that day's Business line….

It was my birthday and no one at GIM knew it…. now this question woke me up from the illusion that no one knew it…

I do not … I said unflappably …. So may be I wouldn’t know…

Anand laughed as he came and sat near to me in the common room.. it was the first tea break of the day and the faculty room was full of talk and laughter…

You didn’t answer me but ..insisted my friend…

I do not know… I think it is just to declare ones self importance.. existence… may be like brands advertise…

There you go… he said….. so GIM is implementing this new style of advertising from today…. The management would be hereafter celebrating its staff’s birthday officially…

I didn’t say a WOW but an awe escaped through my larger than proportionate mouth, to nowhere….

HR policies being reframed… said Anand with conviction looking at my 'not so appreciative' face… the change agent in him wouldn’t die…

By the way suk…. Happy birthday… he said and caught my hands... his eyes sparkled even though the doses of medicines and the therapy had made him a poor looking cousin of his past… you could have told me at least…

But I don’t… I protested feebly….

Happy birthday professor Sukesh… said someone from their cabin to my astonishment….. I saw Ram coming in and many others even as I tried to retire to my pigeon hole cabin…. I saw a group of office boys from the HQ coming in and taking the centre table at the sitting place and putting a larger canteen type table there with a white cloth over it… it looked like a drama set scene to scene transformation, from garden to the palace interiors and from the palace to the market place.. within seconds flowers came in… the king size chairs arrived and so did the king and his court… a large cake appeared on which my name was written ….I was caught in the fanfare, where people smiled ,made noise and rejoiced.. I still didn’t come to terms with the happening inside the faculty room that afternoon…

Anand was seen here and there among the crowd and as Jesus and Manohar came in there was a sudden silence…

Every one stood around the cake… And the King spoke,,,,,

Our employees are our friends… he said looking into the cake and then to each of our faces for a second each… here there are no superiors and sub ordinates…

The VC , ED and the others in the top management team nodded.. When the king spoke, they were all by habit attuned to this nodding no matter what he said….

I switched off and instead kept scanning the crowd.. most of them were surprised and shocked like me, some looked and stared at me as if I was hosting the show, still others seemed jealous at my propulsion to the centre of fame …. I knew that this would be the new game floor and I wasn’t prepared for that….

When the speech was over, Jesus said a prayer and after which I was asked to cut the cake… the first piece was stuffed into my mouth and then the creamy sticky mass was cut into smaller pieces and send around …

We all had had birthdays ..said some one sarcastically ,making sure that the top had left the room… but some are more equal than others…

I was in a smolder …. Pain and agony ran untamed as I sat in my cabin …

The tit bits and residuals of the cake was spread all over but my worry was the grimy looks and the puny faces that the whole show had left as residue…

Happy birthday sir… people kept on saying the whole day... students , staff, colleagues and others… in the lift , at the canteen , in the library and even at the toilet… I just wanted the day to be over soon.. the day when I had told Anand that I do not celebrate birthdays…

Professor Ram was waiting for me, walking nervously up and down outside my pigeon hole when I returned from the loo …

Why do you think, the lot again fell on you? .....he asked the moment he saw me….

I didn’t know… I was worried as well why I am the chosen one always… why I am again the first outsider who had the honor to have the king arrive and sing songs on his birthday,,,,,

Be careful… said Ram… I smell a rat in this sudden celebrity status …

Cats always smell rats.. I said to myself but tried to look cool.... I didn’t want Ram to know of my anguish….

There is a talk among the folks… said Ram…. I don’t know how far that is true…

Now that was too much for my garb to fall… my habiliment worn off and I stood like a naked beggar… he could see me raw but I didn’t know how I looked like..

I am sure I would have looked shocked…my face would have gone pale and blank.. my lips would have dried up… I could see that in Ram’s face…. A sort of a dirty glee appeared there…

Ram had this… he knew how to spin a yarn of suspense and clasp one in it…I was for sure caught in curiosity …

Jhansi Williams appeared on the back ground….

Sir you are wanted by the chairman .. she said and disappeared…

I didn’t look into Ram’s face , I just walked off tongue-tied….

Experiential humbug- part II

After the flop show of the alumni meet, no heads rolled, no fault finding missions were launched where oily faces and dirty giggles sat around and passed the buck.......

The father, the son and their holy spirits were all too benevolent on women....even when they erred and screwed up royally, they were treated with chivalry.....

Sri Laxmi was as young as the guys and girls who passed out in hundreds from GIM every year; some were even older than she was….. As the convener, she was taken non seriously by insiders and outsiders and the alumni… That was mistake number one ....

She took it lightly (worse!) and assumed that at GIM the HQ will take care of and she will just have to smile, shake hands with the hundreds that will throng the meet and deliver speeches and sound very nostalgic…That was mistake number two…

No one communicated properly to the alumni, some were invited, some were not, some got long mails, some got short ones, and the data base was to be blamed. No one ever FOUND OUT that it was not the alumni’s job the make and maintain a proper data base.. That was mistake number three….

And people hated GIM, most of them who left GIM would never want to come back ,no matter how beautiful and young was the convenor who invited was .. her starry eyes could not that easily replace the horror that they lived in their eyes... no one realised it and that was mistake number four....

Why the hell…? ....

I threw the note pad on which I was jotting down the reasons why the meet failed… no one blamed anyone, worse no one talked about it and the day next was just another day, except for the welcome banners that hung here and there and the gloomy faced students who were made to sit a whole day listening to dreary discourses and self eulogy ……but then gloom in there faces was an everyday phenomenon like the deep fried banana's in the GIM canteen...

So the conclusion is that when the inspection team is here we all should together work for the accreditation….team work matters…… it’s our common dream… said Dr Joseph…

Anand sat next to me in the conference hall and seemingly knew that I had left my body there and my mind was wandering….

He smiled and wrote on my note pad… GIM is trying international accreditation…The team is coming…. Another show to be put up…

I woke up to the real world from my one man commission ,finding fault with why the alumni meet bombed like a big fart and yet why it didn’t smell ….

Is it?....... I asked loud in a fit of fury mixed with anxiety topped with suspicion and seasoned with apathy,,,,,

Dr Joseph stopped his speech and paused for a second before asking… Yeah it is Professor Sukesh… Why? ....... you have any doubts…?

No sir… I muttered… I couldn’t tell him that it was just a co incidence and I was not replying to his insincere blather on team work…

He went back and listed on what was to be done by each faculty and others when the team comes calling...…

I could hear the likes of Prof Ram and others (who still thought of change and change agents) debating, suggesting, fighting, compromising, convincing, and arguing from the front rows..

I could see women (most of them the juniors) looking bored and worn-out from this cacophony to which they had no reason to connect to....

I could smell acids from hungry stomachs… it was a typically atypical sight…

I could feel team work…. Two teams were in action – the actives and the passives…

Every meeting in the conference room of GIM had this setting.. Half the crowd spoke.. the other half didn’t, the management will have a set agenda, which will remain intact after all the debate and disagreement which the first half will be bothered and the unconnected second half will not be, the first half would look into the clock and their watches wanting more time for the meeting, the second half would do the same but in desperation to flee…

Hungry Kya ? … Anand asked me…

It was about 1 pm and the hard sunny day it was ,I had a huge appetite …

Dominos? ... I asked in reply and we both laughed….

It seems Professor Sukesh Menon and Prof Anand Mohan has something valuable to contribute… suddenly said Dr Joseph (who noticed that we were not listening to his talk).

I was taken aback by this googly… it was unexpected….

Very true sir… announced Anand as he stood up….. I was even more shocked by this response…

I just have one question… what is new? said Anand....

What? .... Dr Joseph asked portentously….

This is like a school play enacted year after year… for those who have been here during the last visit by the same commission, it is the same…. The plot… the characters and even the dialogues… announced Anand with the same charm and power with which he had stood up like Moses the saviour, the last time when such a meeting was held.....

I didn’t hear the roar of the red sea this time…but could see the blue faces on the stage…..

The women (still unconnected) stared at Anand who stood there,waiting for an answer….

I flashed a smile…. At Anand and then to the ED’s face which had turned Red from Blue…..

Bloody bastards … he seemed to have said…

Same to you ,you ugly rotten creep… I said with impunity…

the home coming !!!

Anand and his home coming went unnoticed in the hullabaloo of the alumni meet. After the initial pleasantries, he went straight to the auditorium where he sat with the other teachers who were not seemingly perturbed by the scant attendance of the alumni in the alumni meet.

Prof Ram was seen walking in between the front rows cracking jokes and pulling legs and big laughter was heard. I preferred to stay out, not because I didn’t want to be part of the fun, but because I was in the reception team and my place was at the huge portico, where Dr Joy’s large photograph hung, with a smile. There was not a big turn around to receive and when my team told me that totally 6 people had registered it was ten minute past 9 30 and the prayer song could be heard.

Dr Joy had nothing much to say except the things which he says everywhere he has a captive audience and every time he is given a mike,,,,,,

No wonder why people don’t turn out…. Said some one in my team and the rest of them giggled… I feigned to be deaf and preferred to walk up and down the long corridors of GIM……

Unfettered and unafraid I was for I was sure that the cameras were'nt seeing me, with the top brass locked in the hall where the King was waxing eloquent on how and why alumni should maintain good relations with its alma matter. Nothing, I heard about the other way round… Nothing I heard about why for any B school, its alumni was one of its building blocks… He would have known it, but it was his trait, and that ran in the entire family …. Outdated and arcane they may be for the others, but sacred and hallowed for him.

Lucky you… said an SMS from Anand… you are saved from this ordeal…..

I didn’t reply, I smiled and returned to the reception table where the girls in my team started reading some film magazine which they produced from no where (GIM taught this- planning to perfection) and the guys cruised in their mobile phones and other gadgets which they could use inside the campus only for that day just because they are in the organizing team.

Is this the alumni meet reception? ....asked some one suddenly, whom none of us had noticed walking in…

There stood a guy, small and lean with top-heavy lanky legs, and outsized specs occupying a large part of his small face. He looked tense and looked here and there with fear, suspicion and angst …

He sure was an alumnus of GIM!!!

Welcome …. I said with a smile, which he would never have seen at GIM….

He shook hands quite diffidently ….

My team got into action as a team of starved hyenas has got its prey… He gave me his business card which read

Abhimanyu Raj Mishra
Vice President-Operations
Barclays bankPLC
1 Churchill Place, London, E14 5HP
United Kingdom

I looked again into his face, the large specs trying to hide his large sparkling eyes but I could see success, a sea roaring inside the small frame of the guy who looked more like a comedian than a hero.

Please come in..................... I led him to the hall where Dr Joseph,the ED was behind the mike, laughing at his own joke and the audience as usual refusing to share his grubby giggle.

I took the guest to the two rows where the 6 or 7 alumni sat scattered and apparently jaded…

The programme had just started and yet!!! GIM was good at this again, to bore people to the core…

Seeing the guy, Dr Jesus came rushing from his seat, and hugged him as if he got back his long lost brother…
I saw the old guard of GIM hurrying to cuddle ,clasp and clinch the small frame of the visitor…
I noticed silence on the stage where Dr Joseph waited for the drama to be over to continue with his boring speech. Murmur spread in the crowd, largely students in their formal attire, blazers and ties and all the gear…..

I stood there unable to decide what to do next… leave the hapless guy to the merciless hugging crowd of GIM or take him to his seat so that moron on stage could resume his sermon….

It is his fate… I pacified myself as I walked out from the large intimidating hall to even large corridors of GIM …

The guys of my team joined me in my canteen trip while I asked the girls to stay back to receive some one incase they come…

Why is it sir, such a low turnout?..... One of the kids asked me in canteen…

I paused, took a break from my banana fry and hot tea… the question was simple but the answer was not… I mean, as a teacher at GIM I couldn’t and wouldn’t discuss with them the issues that really made people refuse to come back to their alma matter….

Would you come back if we call you..Say two years from now..? I asked him a counter question, in an attempt to pass the monkey….

He laughed and didn’t shrink as I thought he would… instead he chuckled…

To be frank Sukesh sir… said another guy …none of us want to…

I looked at the guys face where audacity ran amok… it was a rare sight in GIM …

We just want to leave this place, for whatever good that this place has done to us…said another one even as the first guy still cackled….

It wasn’t breaking news for me for sure… GIM was tough to its kids… discipline in a strange form ruled the place and was applied in disproportionate quantities among students… all were equal but some were more equal than others….

I guess, with me that day I had a group of just EQUAL guys;;;;

My mobile vibrated…

A message

Anand mohan

Suk… were ru… come and listen… alumni and their plain speak….

I didn’t want to sit and listen to discourses which had no sense of reality but now it seems the season of plain speaking had arrived…

Abhimanyu Raj Mishra was on stage when I went into the hall with my entire team….we stood at the darkness of the back rows… discipline and decorum largely never reached the dimness of the back rows…

I mean we hated this place so much so that we even had a count down calendar in our hostel rooms… the speaker said to a stunned audience… I didn’t know who all where there in the front rows but was sure shocked at the first sentence that fell on my ears. I could see sparkle in the eyes of the guys who had told me the same, in the canteen some five minutes back.

I mean the pressure that GIM put on us was so tremendous and so merciless that I was sure that GIM would never make it into my list of fond memories… he went on in a strange baritone that was a mix of all emotions… he choked, and yet he was smiling, he didn’t look the same weak frame that walked in to the GIM main building some time back….

My guys flashed a smile.. See- we- told- you grin, I must say …

But when we went on to face life, I must now admit that the pressures that we got used to here made life look simple… no bias was a bias, sleep less nights weren’t enough, no shouting was a shouting and surprises usually didn’t work with us…. and no waiting was waiting we have done it enough outside the directors rooms here,,,…. Thanks to GIM,,,,

............He said even as a half reluctant crowd semi applauded as if they didn’t quite knew what to do…

I have not come back to praise GIM… it could go a long way… this meet may be the first step…and with my appreciation let me also share my admiration to whoever has conceived this impossibility….

when I am back here I remember the old song which said....

You're that innocence
That serenity.....That long lost part of me
You're like a Sunday morning, pleasin' my eyes...
You're a mid-summer's dream under a star-soaked sky...
That peaceful, easy feelin' at the end of a long, long road..
Oh, you're like comin' home

The words were simple but had tremendous power.. it went around the hall, reverberated and landed like an atom bomb....

The crowd applauded, this time in full measure as I walked out and saw Anand in the corridor….

Appreciation, admiration… ahem ahem… I said as I hugged him…

How I hope..he said looking at the large smiling image of the king…. this guys realized that it is not brick and mortar that makes organizations…

The Sound of Silence !

Anand , called me when I came out of the Kings Chamber to inform of his plan to come back to GIM .I saluted the man for his spirit for I knew that he still had traces of the disease that dreaded him, left on his face and body. His hair had all gone, his skin lost its texture, but he was Anand, as gleeful and spirited as ever,,,, he still had time to recuperate but he wanted to join back.

Back in the faculty room when frowning faces flowed with a strange silence setting the tone as if announcing an impending disaster and I still smiling and walking around in confidence having defeated the other team in the first round, Sri Laxmi called me to the canteen….I could see ED and the HOD closeted, and regrouping as would a group of injured animals. I preferred not to see it when I walked out but the my eyes captured the image before I joined Sri Laxmi who was waiting…

She was looking too very feminine that day.. she always had it -the effeminate effulgence but her vibrancy often hid it… That day but she wore timidity over her beauty and stood in the garden waiting for me….

Your man is coming back… I said with glee… you should be jumping with joy….

She didn’t smile, instead she told me how sad she was for his new looks…

The charm of a man is in his character… I said as if I really believed it... I knew that for some one like her, his looks also mattered…Why her? Looks did matter….

I know that Sukesh sir… she said as we got into the canteen hall which was empty and lifeless.

We sat in a corner table after ordering our regular stuff.

Then what is it that you don’t know?... I asked…

My parents now want me to marry some one else… she said with a drop of tear oozing out of her eyes that spoke volumes…

And what do you want to do..? I didn’t wait to ask….

I value my relations more than anything else… she said…

I still didn’t get my answer… not that I didn’t know that when wanted, women had this unique ability to talk symbolisms but then I wanted her to tell me directly…

She didn’t….

Don’t tell me that it’s your parents who decide… I said sarcastically

I do it … and Anand is mine..she said smiling even when her eyes drizzled…

Uffff … I sighed… then what is the problem….?

She went into silence again…I preferred to remain the same..

When I couldn’t understand her silence, what will I do with her words…?

I am the new alumni relationship co ordinator… she told me as I gobbled banana fries that was one of the very few experiences that people at GIM would love to come back for.


May be they know how much you VALUE your relations… I said with a laugh…. Right person for the right job....personality job fit theory…

She showed her naughty face…

And for the alumni meet next week they have made you the co coordinator now… I got amused… with just a week to go…?

And you didn’t ask why me?... she laughed… I haven’t completed even a batch of teaching and I am the chosen one,,,
May be the King and co thinks its good that way… you don’t know them and they don’t know you… it’s a great way to kick start a relation… I said…

She beamed ,her clean and well placed rows of teeth in display … She could have been in acting, I thought….

I kept wondering at this ability of women to swing their mood as they pleased…

I also kept thinking that if for the alumni meet, the former students didn’t turn up in expected numbers; will she be plotted against?

May be it was just a paradox that Anand came back to GIM, the day when GIM at last decided to hold its first Alumni meet. It was Anand’s brain child that the meet finally took shape and against all odds and 101 reasons that the eccentric management of GIM had against such an idea. I remember how tough it was for the guy with denim smell to go from cabin to cabin and convince every jug head as to how and why it is important for a B School to cultivate its alumni and have good relations with them…

Anand walked slowly from his car and I ran towards him at the first sight. I was in the reception committee of the alumni meet and our job was to stand at the portico and register the names of the alumnus who will grace the occasion. The guys and girls of my team were all well set, well dressed and well behaved… roses and incense were in place, sweets to honour the guests who came back to their alma matter hence nostalgic, and a lot of smiles glittered… Every one smiled, even the ED and the HOD (God knows WHY!!!!)

It looked perfect and every single element was there except the alumni… None of them turned up and it was about 9 30, just half an hour to the show where Dr Joy will light the lamp and tell the GATHERING how important for GIM its ALUMNUS were…

With no one to receive, garland and give sweets to, my team got tired, their smiles disappeared .. the girls in particular seemed regretting for all the efforts that they have taken in improving their looks, having gone vain…

That was the moment when I saw Anand, walking from the canteen side, after parking his car. He wasn’t the same in elegance, he walked frail, looked thinner than I saw him last at his home and wore a cap to keep away glaring eyes from his bald head. When he shook hands and when I hugged him but, I felt relieved… a lot of my pressure oozed out…. He still had the smell of denim and the smell of a winner…

How’s the operation applecart going? He asked me with a smile that had all the charm that was entirely his…

I guess I have upset the whole applecart.. I said even as we walked to the main building of GIM….

He stood there for a minute and said… hey Suk....the key to change,is to let go of your fear….

I stood there even as he walked, and by the time I realised that I was standing there alone, the music had begun ….

So much of sound and yet a lot of silence ....

The show had begun ….

Experiential Humbug- Part I

At GIM one could hear of reforms quite often and I was party to one of the programmes that aimed at changing the GIM system..but the problem at GIM was that it was peculiarly bureaucratic…. It all started with good intentions and began well but as the old saying goes, the smallest deed is better than the grandest intention and it often got screwed at various levels. The same happened with the EMEP show..

The great Experiential Management Education Programme- the brain child of the ice cool HQ chambers, which the likes of Prof Ram called as Humbug, which the audacity of Anand had prompted me to take up as the great opportunity, which fell on me as a result of God-knows-who’s – plot, which got to start with a lot of trumpet blast and display just to die a sudden death as corporate theatres and debate sessions gave way to the academic pressures … As Ram had put it “when we don’t have sufficient time to finish classes you should have known that this will become a burden for you….” Easier said than done… HUH!!!

When the day the top brass called me finally to announce the death of the EMEP programme which they put it as “shelving for the time being” and the outsider that I was, I was the last one to be formally told. Every one else discussed it, laughed at it (in secrecy of course) and passed stupid grins at me as if I was a criminal caught with illicit liquor.

Jesus and Manohar sat next to next in the King’s chamber where I was summoned. VC and his files were in attendance and so were a couple of senior Professors. Ram was missing but Dr Joseph the ED was there as the Snowy dog of the Tintin series, present in every frame.

Every time I stepped into the larger than life place, I shuddered and shivered for no reason.

After the intro and the shelving for the time being phraseology by the VC, all the faces looked at me seemingly expecting me to blurt out, react or at least respond. But I preferred to be silent. I knew the trap; I sensed it on every face. The large photograph of Jesus the lord was the only one which at GIM remained the same, the same compassion and solace beamed, the same comfort and serenity in display. All others either stared, or scowled, some looked confused, some at times bewildered, often amused, some smiled, and some kept gazing at the ceiling as if Pablo Picasso had painted it and just left. I could see the trouble in the Kings face that for all his verbosity now looked silent and it was strange…

It is a failure that we didn’t take the EMEP programme to its desired levels of success… said the VC … clearly in what to me looked like the GIM way of orchestrated accusation.

I just wanted to know who will make the WE sound YOU and point the finger at me..

Manohar? He had nothing to do with me.. virtually nothing…

Jesus..? Will he? After all I was like his younger brother… will he?

Or any other professors? ... who looked like odd men out in the gathering..

Or Dr Joseph?… he could be the chosen one and he could be happy to put the first nail on me…. I could see a dirty bunch of hairs that rose to the occasion, from his huge ears..

Will it be Prof .Mathew Cherian my HOD, the oil faced jerk who had a lot of axe to grind…

Jesus sat a bit forward and leaned on to his dad’s table. Silence ensued as Jesus has this unique ability to convey a lot when he spoke and a lot more when he didn’t…

You were the convenor of the EMEP programme Professor Sukesh Menon and when it has failed … he said in an outlandish direct assault which was so atypical of him…. you should be answering..

I didn’t react because I couldn’t react.

Was it because it was Jesus who was the aggressor? Or was it because the total aggression was unfounded and biased? Or a combination of both…?

I kept looking at Jesus in disbelief, guess I still had a feeling that it wasn’t he, or even if it was he it wasn’t he who was talking ..he was just reading out a dialogue from a script that some one had penned in this absurd drama….

I hated Anand for the confidence that he bestowed on me to take up the job, I hated Ram for praising the first outsider who got SUCH a task at GIM… I hated myself for being so gullible, for walking into this trap with such appalling naiveté ….

You could have said if you were not interested….said the ED, smiling and looking at the HOD… together they looked like Shakuni and Duryodhan ,the plotters in Mahabharata…. Hate fumed in their eyes and I suddenly saw myself as the hapless Draupadi who got trapped in the Kaurava court!

No one wanted the EMEP, may be no one except the management, the students didn’t take the spirit of it as it was seen as another programme which was planned and send down by the top, the faculty hated it for the same reason plus the extra work for no BENEFIT as they saw it , the management forgot it after the launch for they had better things to do and for me it was hot potato that I could neither swallow nor throw away ….

I guess you can give an answer … said the King in whose hands he had an egg shaped paperweight which was an antique piece that came with him after one of his travels. He played with it as if he didn’t want to look at my face even when he talked…

Yes sir… I said suddenly…. I can… the answer is simple…. Every time a programme like this is planned, its closure is planned as well. To my knowledge that is why here things don’t work the way it should be.

Eye brows went up and disbelief spelled with oil and anger… I wasn’t being valiant in the large room which threatened a simple being like me, but was just being an animal defending it self when driven to a corner….

Academic community is the worse when it comes to politics and back stabbing…. I said without doubt and with poise….. and here we have that in abundance.

You are deviating from the topic.. said the ED, annoyed and upset…

I raised my hands, disallowing him to finish, stared at his ugly face and pasted a firm look on his full to bursting eyes . Sure enough he went silent but not before looking into Prof Mathew his co plotter to take over.

I don’t know what they all tell you sir.. I said to the King and his son… outside the HQ its all a game.. whatever you plan they want it to fail and they will make sure that it is failed…

No one spoke….

I looked at Jesus, the real one who looked frozen like a child who forgot his next dialogue on stage…
I looked at Jesus, the one in the picture who still smiled at the dirty crowd with compassion….

Anything more sir? …. I asked

Nothing Sukesh.. Said the King, putting and end to the drama even as the crowd waited for an anti climax… you may go now….

I stood up with a smile which I never had the spine to smile, shook the big guy’s fatty hands, turned to my left , bowed at Jesus and Manohar and walked out.

My mobile vibrated….

Anand calling.. it said….

Strategic withdrawal !

It was the weekly counseling day. The students of the Finance specialisation had a very peculiar problem to rise in the counseling sessions.....(The new HOD had introduced this reform where each faculty was assigned a group of students whom they will spend a full session with inside the campus and COUNSEL them…. Often it ended up as complaint sessions where the faculty would just hear things that they could in no way control or change….. For me even that didn’t happen as there was a fear… after all I was the Management’s left hand man…

No faculty ever complained of this Tuglak style reform and no student too, for them it was like a paid holiday….

Very few of their faculty was permanent, said the kids of finance repeatedly ,and the core was mostly drawn from various companies locally and hence when others were in classes they dragged on in the awful canteen or in the students area and when others went back to hostels or with their girl/boy friends for some outing, they sat in classes pretending to be in love with all the jargons and high funda that flew left and right their heads but never into it...And those faculty who joined as full timers either didn’t knew what it meant when they joined and ran away in between( when they realised it) leaving their jobs ,leaving behind more names in the long list of faculty who quit GIM or simply continued defying all notions of a faculty's survival and existence being directly proportional to student likeability ........

The game went on and so did Dr Subhajit Agarwal ,who was with GIM for the past 7 months much to the chagrin of the 'being taught' students of the Finance stream but to the delight of the Management for having employed some one who had the right people in Delhi .....

When I was in the common area with Prof Ram and a host of others chatting about simple nothings in life he came in with a smile and joined us… Ram with his uncanny ability to drag unnecessary people into unnecessary conversation, pulled him into a debate about "why not all good researchers are good teachers or some crap like that".. Sensing danger, I escaped and was walking out when I could still hear loud debates as if at the end of this debate, the King will come down and reward the winner…. ...

For the students he and his like were a tragedy, and no debate could change it, they simply couldn’t understand what he was talking about, not the hard finance, but the simple English....

For the faculty colleagues of his he was a comedy,( me and Anand laughed like hell the first day we met him) .......they wanted some one to giggle at and about, and to prove their point that the HQ (of late) recruited with intentions other than teaching ability in mind....

For the business of business education he was a disgrace, for someone who has written 23 cases and published many a research papers, would look like an asset in paper but in practice he was an NPA... a non performing asset who soon, for GIM was becoming a liability....

You know something… Asked Sri Laxmi who came opposite in the long corridor.. as I was walking out and my destination was the library…

I looked her enquiringly…

Library? .. she asked

I nodded in affirmation, and waited for her to open the news bulletin…

She kept mum as we walked down the stairs…. The classes were all in full swing and it reverberated in the quadrangles…

Demand and supply.. Inflation and deflation… Strategy and blue oceans…. The lessons echoed and created a funny ensemble

I feel hungry ..Sri Laxmy said with an unusual smile…. Heard that our canteen has some real good Chicken curry…

WTF?.............. I mumbled even while staring at her…

Library at GIM was a huge place…… partly HUGE by design but partly also because it was empty all the time, except when they took photos for the college brochure or promotion material when the kids in blazers were made to sit like robots and pretend to read from gigantic books that they never knew ever existed and would never again come in tryst with in life…

Will you listen to me if I tell you something?… she asked as I dragged a chair to sit and as she was already seated…

Women had this; they knew to ask the most unanswerable questions and yet asked them with all the innocence in their faces… How I hoped I could locate the FAQ genes in their brain and crush it…

I smiled, hoping she would understand that better than my spoken words…

Will you.. ? she insisted…

Depends… I said with anger brewed in apathy

Then I will not say…. She acted like a kid who was in her pre school…

Get lost..!!! I almost said but swallowed it when I saw the flutter in her eyes.. I could ignore her tantrums in exchange for the info that she seems to be having and was dying to divulge to me…

I will ..I said… You can trust me…

She didn’t buy it …. It wasn’t her fault.. it always happened.. my eyes defeated my intentions too often than even I could imagine,,,,,

HOD thinks that you need to be axed… she said suddenly even while I was wondering what it would be…I heard him talking to Dr Jesus….

Ever since the enquiry report , which tried to shoot the suspected en masse, went back from my table to the HOD’s with a strong rejoinder and with no signature of mine, he hated me…

But axe?....... I sat bewildered…

I was with Jesus when this call came … she told me in a hush tone…. I grasped the major part of the conversation from the way Jesus responded… it was you… your name… your behaviour….your arrogance.... your…

Excuse me… I stopped her… enough!!!…

Hello.. she laughed.. I’m not saying this… I’m just saying what I heard…

But how you know it was Prof Mathew Cherian… it could be any one… after all it’s the world of academics… every one hates everyone else… I argued

Oh no… Jesus hung the phone and asked me… How is Prof Mathew Cherian? Isn’t that proof enough…? ... she said as her eyes sparkled...

I had a larger than usual opening in place where till the other moment I had my mouth….

Exactly..she laughed… I had the same feeling....I also kept my mouth open… I didn’t know what to say…..

PLOTS… I garbled…. Bloody conspirators ….

Now the promise part… Will you? ..........She asked me nonchalantly and why not.. It was least of her problems that all this was happening to me….

Just play it cool… be normal… if you react this guys can smoke you out…. She advised. of course she didnt care whether I liked the advise....

I flashed a smile… It was competition and I taught Marketing …..

Strategic withdrawal is definitely and option!!!

I had to “give up weaker territories and reassign my resources to stronger territories” as per Kotler…

For me ,the next stop was Jesus… in crisis and in war who else but the good shepherd himself?

Trial and Tribulation... Part II

Dr Joy had bought another new car, which stood proud like the owner himself in the huge portico of GIM, where only the family was supposed to drive into, get down and get in from their cars and even park there. This new one was a BMW 3 series, which was worth 35 Lakhs as per the hush hush that went around. I was walking in to start the day when I saw this black beauty that was parked and the admiring faces that loitered around…

Sir .. why don’t you buy one sir? ….one mischievous student asked a bit loud,may be for fun, but which hurt the ego of some one for whom the basic model of a Maruthi itself was a burden….

I smiled and walked off as if such material comforts didn’t matter to a teacher. A teacher is above all such silly things in life….

A hard expression to show in face, particularly for an amateur actor!

As I passed the reception, walking into the stair, Dr Joy smiled from his huge pic- contempt was written all over his face, from the folds of which a scorn slowly unraveled.

I hated the man and the total dispensation, for the kind of luxury that they indulged in, throwing the lesser mortals into a burning hot pot of resentment and jealousy.

The Class representative came to my pigeon hole cabin when I was refreshing the power points of the day, arranging the ads to be shown, after asking Jhansi Williams to take print out of the case let that was to be discussed that day.. Time was running out and here was this guy who stood behind me with a stupid smile…

Yes man….??.... I looked at him

He didn’t talk, instead scratched his head as if the answer was there…

I have a class now…. I said …

He still didn’t reply, nor did he plan to go…

Are you planning a quiz today sir..? ..he asked after enough testing my patience…

I was not, but when he asked I inadvertently shook my head in conformance…

How did you know?? …

He flashed a victorious smile… He knew everything at GIM… at least better than me… he knew that I was going to conduct a surprise test, which EVEN I didn’t know.. Wasn’t it great?

If yes what? .....I asked him…

Some guys are absent sir…. In fact 5 of them… so if you….

I had never seen such a request at GIM.. they were never supposed to be absent and if they were it was at their risk- entirely…

So if I?

Sir it will affect their internal marks… he said with a hell lot of shilly-shallying, half of which was adulterated

I stood up, and he went two steps back…

How dare you come and ask me this? … I shouted…. How dare you….

The faculty room reverberated… heads came up the half cabins… and this guy started shuddering…

I knew I could have handled it better but I was frustrated, my ego was hurt, My Maruthi sized self esteem baloon had got pricked by a BMW sized pin…..

Get out… I said and he simply vanished….

I sat there looking at the computer screen which had all the ads and power points lined up, my teaching folder for the day which was waiting to be copied into my pendrive….

This is a fucking profession… I wrote in my note pad…. With angry lines underlining the concept…Anand had said it right….

The last day when I met him at his home,he had told me… Those who can do will do, others will teach!!!

I walked out of the large faculty room to the corridor and the corner from where the sea was visible… how I wish I could be a sea, a wave, or at least a drop in it, which was seamless, at times thoughtless and when desired be real as well….

I called Anand to discuss the issue. After the last evening visit, when a recuperating Anand Mohan looked healthier than a healthy me…. He smiled more lavishly than ever, saw life in all its hues and colours and more vividly than ever, he was again a solace… I just wished for his come back and he assured of it soon….

Laughter was his answer… he went on and on with his laugh for the BMW story, which but surprisingly didn’t hurt my ego….

You should be happy Suk… he told me finally…. The moral of the story is that “happy bosses, peaceful sleep guaranteed”!!!

I wasn’t quite convinced but could handle the class with less temperament and even with a smile at the CR who sat there possibly expecting a fully loaded gun and blood bath….

After the class he even said a thank you (for not conducting the test, because he requested)
I didn’t tell him that no tests that were intended… I just walked out with a smile, thinking of the approbation that he is going to win from the daredevils who bunked the day’s classes.


I was at Prof Ram’s cabin showing him an article which I managed to write (one word for all the google search, cut, copy, paste, re word, re phrase and all the stuff behind a faculty researched article). Ram had a sneering look which I fully deserved for the 4 pages of hard work which lay frozen at his table and yet I didn’t like his stare….

I didn’t talk and when he was about to his intercom rang…

Yeah…he said.. Now? ...he asked…. Done !.... he committed and kept the receiver back to its cradle…

Your HOD wants to meet you in his cabin… NOW … said Ram and gave me back the paper bunch…

Let it be here sir..… please help me in making it better….. I said and walked to the HOD’s cabin.. I wanted to turn back and look into Rams face, but I could see it even without…

The final report is ready… Said Prof Mathew Cherian…. Now both of us have to sign it and I can send it to the management.

He extended a neatly printed and bounded book to me, which looked like a final project report….

Enquiry report on the indisciplinary activities undertaken by a section of students on… bla bla bla.. It read….

You need to sign only on the last page… he said with impatience….

I need to… I looked at him distrustfully and he read it….

You don’t have a pen…? He asked me.

I need to read it sir… I said without looking into his face….

A drop of oil fell on the table??

May be his table was oily as his face was which I didnt adventure to look at that pont of time but I knew he was slipping……

I stood up and said before walking out… With your permission, I am taking it...

Here again I wanted to look back, but didn’t for I knew the kind of ugly face my HOD had!!!