Trial and Tribulation... Part I

I taught advertising that semester. It was my most comfortable domain which I could teach even if I were woken up at the middle of the night and asked to. Not that GIM did it, but did things pretty close to it. Classes ran from 7 30 to 7 30 and often had clashes due to lack of planning quite often, absence of Jesus (remember at GIM even a small swapping had to go through the laborious process of getting the Director’s consent) ,a faculty suddenly going on leave was among a host of reasons that upset the complicated matrix of class allotment. I was just back after one such class that was dumped on me and was planning to relax at my pigeon hole after that third class of the day, which was a case discussion that was left half way through for want of time, when ED called me.

After the advent of the new HOD, the ED rarely did call the Marketing faculty, including me and that was a relief. When the phone rang and his voice came through I was a bit surprised, a bit shocked and a bit curious as to the intentions of that out of the blue bell ringing.

If you remember…. he told me in his cabin without even looking into my face… there was an enquiry that was constituted after the student unrest….

I suddenly went back to the rainy day when students ran mayhem in GIM… I also remembered the day when Anand and I walked into the enquiry trap, him blissfully ignorant and me frighteningly suspicious ….

But Anand has gone….. I thought….

Just because Anand Mohan has left…. The ED said, this time fixing his dirty stare on my eyes, and reading my mind from my eyes….. you cannot run away from the job you were committed with…

Run away was a bad way to put it I thought, but then I was in no position to correct it…. When he called, Sri Laxmi had just left my cabin, leaving me heavy hearted, sharing a lot of joy and pain, shedding a lot of tears and glee, clearing me of my assumptions that I was so very loutishly nourishing in mind…

I chose to stand silent…

It was clear that he had made his war plan and just wanted some one at the other side… He had dug out an issue and chose me, the nearest sitting dumbo for the honours…. I was, but in no mood to fall victim to his post lunch past time hunt and stood there as if at that point of time, I would obey anything he ordered.

Visibly disillusioned he said …..

Along with Prof Mathew Cherian, you will start the enquiry process today…. and added with his matchless laugh that evicted more gases than any volcano and produced more sounds than a thunderstorm…. The VC expects a report by Monday next….

But sir… I said with hesitation even as he kept laughing… I have never conducted and enquiry before….and Prof Mathew joined just now… he wouldn’t know the actual….

Don’t tell me what to do Sukesh Menon…. shouted the old man with a sudden fury… if you have a doubt about the qualifications of your HOD and what to do , you can go and meet the VC now, or if you are clear allow me to brief him about this….

He didn’t ask me to go but turned his chair to his phone and started calling some one in what I took as a message to go….I showed faces at his ass and walked out of his cabin and out of the faculty room in absolute annoyance.

I kept wondering…. from where, where on earth did GIM hunt and bring such rare specimen?

Prof Ram was there in the corridor when I walked down; he joined me even without asking me where I was going. It was assumed that Sukesh Menon when left the faculty room visibly stressed would go but to the canteen,,, where else?

How do you conduct an enquiry? ......I asked Prof Ram while we passed the reception area from where Dr Joy with a smile hung from the biggest photograph in the world.

Ram looked at me with a funny glance, asking me to elaborate on my question… I told him the whole episode which happened and my worry about the new team mate….

It seems to me that at this time we need education in the obvious more than the enquiry of the obscure …said Ram with a smile, quoting from some one he read….

Yeah … I mean….. how true… I said even as we got seated in the canteen, which looked deserted with only a few footfalls that were unusual at that time of the day.

I am planning to leave it to Prof Mathew and play second fiddle…. I said… that way I guess I can be safe…

How long ?..... demanded Ram… and safe is a relative concept… what have you achieved so far by being safe?

Very pertinent question…. I thought, even as I kept staring at Ram’s face as he drank his tea and mine still waiting….

Did he sound like Anand? Or was it just a feeling? …..….

I missed him….

My mobile vibrated and then went silent….

1 message…

Sri Laxmi…..

You said you would like to meet Anand.. Today I am planning to. Would you be interested? If yes come to the main gate some 15 minutes before 5….I will wait for 5 minutes….Thank you in advance…

I sat there reading that direct communication over and over again as if I didn’t understand … My heart started pounding with no logic…. I could see Ram looking at me spiritedly and to my mobile phone.. I am such an idiot who showed it all on his face …

I couldn’t wait …as time simply refused to snail, as the clock bizarrely crept , and as the post lunch silence let loose a siesta in almost all the cabins , I sat impatiently tapping the mouse and playing with my sand clock…. How I hope I had the time machine…

Just when the clock ticked 4, my phone rang…..

Mathew here… came the grumpy voice and I could feel oil flowing out of my receiver….

Yeah sir,,,, I pretended reverence

We need to sit for the enquiry…. He broke into my affectation and said …. I am meeting the management now and will need you when I am back…

But sir… even before I could launch my rejoinder he had gone…..

It was pitching dark when I finally got out of GIM that evening… Prof Mathew had left after the first sitting of the enquiry commission, the trial and tribulation, which but turned out to be the best of all the farces that I had seen at GIM…

I stood there alone, as mist came down covering the huge building and the garden impairing my vision, as darkness sang some sad song into my ears , and as some numbness gripped my legs, refusing to take me to my car at the parking bay………

My mobile had gone dead, out of charge, when I finally decided, sitting in the car that I should talk to Anand...

Ghost of the past !!!

I was sitting unoccupied at the faculty common area when Jesus called me via Jansi William, the faculty assistant. It would have been the last thing I would have liked to do at that point of time, meeting up with the bosses and listen to their pointless brouhaha… But choice was always a question and at GIM, was never available in abundance.

Enroute to the HQ ,I passed Sri Laxmi’s cabin where she sat, looking into some book but not reading from it…. she was probably posing to work for the benefit of the cameras hung from all the nook and corners…..but then how did I know it ?

… I didn’t know.. I just assumed… I was trying to draw pictures as to what would be going through her mind ….as I walked I saw Prof Mathew Cherian coming opposite to me with a smile which I saw but didn’t acknowledge as Anand and Sri Laxmi ruled my mind….…that was the case ever since I got back from the canteen to the main building of GIM and the comforts, to the centralized AC, the music and the soothing peace that it offered, as compared to the dust and din of a ruthless outside world. I didn’t know how I walked back but I remember the blurred vision with which I did, I know for sure that water drops clogged my eyes refusing to fall down but refusing to be taken back either… I knew that I became weak and the large frame that I had wasn’t balancing with the small and feeble mind that I seemed to possess… Anand was a pleasure and then a pain, and when I was trying to forget him as the past, at that hot summer afternoon he suddenly woke me up and never left me to sleep thereafter…..

Professor Sukesh… Professor Mathew called me and I crash landed….He was standing hazardously close to me…

HQ? .. he asked me ….

Yeah Sir… Dr Jesus has called me… I said dryly…

For what ?.. he asked me with inquisitiveness oozing out of his oily face….

Well… I stood there searching for words… I couldn’t tell him that for Jesus that was a preoccupation that when he gets bored of all the women of his harem, he will invite men… for small talks, tea and biscuits, forced humor and a lot of talk about Jesus(the real one!) and his miracles… Father, Son and the Holy Spirit….

Don’t know sir….I said instead…

I have heard that you are a pet of the bosses.. especially the director…but that is past…he said with a scorn even as my eyes bulged out…hope hereafter at least you will learn to respect hierarchies….

He just walked after vomiting that filth, which God knows originated where… I was least interested in the source and even the content…. I knew one thing…another enemy is here at GIM for me and that too just above me in the hierarchy…. As if the ghosts of the past weren’t enough, this new one from the present just walked past me….

I stood there for a while, wondering whether to proceed to meet Jesus or get back and work as per the HOD’s command…… at GIM the question seemingly had no alternative answers… After so many years of teaching management, if I do not know the difference between the boss and an ass, what the heck was me good for…?

Jesus was surrounded by women, who were laughing in mirth as if he was Mr Bean and a show was going on…

I stood there outside his cabin, seeing the fun gun sprouting across the room through the large glass door…. Jesus gestured me to get in, and I went in to be standing there as all the seats were full with women…… Madam Secretary was still laughing quite animatedly, but when she saw my ugly face popping into the cabin she suddenly stopped, as if she was some heroine and I was the rapist villain…

Jesus understood my predicament when I said…. Should I come back later sir…if you are busy,,,,,

Did I add a bit of sarcasm in that…? Did that sound genuine enough,,,??

No no….. he said… please you sit…. And that was indication enough for the women’s society to push off….

Have you read the monk…. He asked me when finally the cabin was left to us… me and Jesus…

The what…? I exclaimed…

The Monk who sold his Ferrari…or Think and grow rich… said Jesus… by Napoleon hill….

I was wondering at his motive… is this going to be an afternoon session on books that he read and I didn’t, and hence I should… or just a free display of gyan, or another evangelist session…? Or was there something else which for my mortal eyes wasn’t visible…….?

Yeah have read…. I said, looking into his eyes with suspicion that wasn’t easy to hide especially when one faced Jesus the evangelist….but why now?

Before you make assumptions you should think… you tend to hyper react… which is not good… Said the man with a smile… I know you wouldn’t agree now, but if you sit and think you will know…

I was cornered… I couldn’t connect… Jesus was often like women,,,, he saw things which others never did, he heard things which others never did, and he talked things which others never did and never did understood….

Can I know the context sir…. I pleaded as I was genuinely worried…

The oily face of my new HOD from where hatred mixed with jealousy and oil poured out in an interesting mixure,who threatened me unabashedly, suddenly ran amok in my mind ….

It is simple Sukesh.. you are like my brother…. Said Jesus, for a millionth time, which meant nothing to me and to him… I knew that, probably he knew that as well…

I sat straight and alert to hear him… when was the last when I assumed things..? I wanted to know…

This is not fair…. Came a voice first and then shouting and grumbling Prof Ram suddenly and with no warning… He could have knocked at least, I thought…

Jesus didn’t panic as I did… I was taken aback but he had a smile as if he knew the advent of the old war horse…

What sir.. asked Jesus even as he gestured Ram to sit, in a chair next to me…

He threw a piece of paper into the table and said… please read this….

Jesus took it and read for a second and then gave it to me…

Read it Sukesh,please.... I forgot my glasses…. He said…

I took it and glanced through the paper for a minute.. it was a printout from GIM’s official webpage… it read….

We don’t follow the crowd, instead follow a different methodology. Theory, we do teach but not like what others do. GIM believes in practical learning and we….

Jesus gestured me to stop and so did I.…

Now what about that…? Asked Jesus impatiently…

Will you tell your executive director also to read this stuff…? ... demanded Ram with matching impatience…

I sensed danger and wanted to escape… Jesus read my wriggling in uneasiness and allowed me to go…..

Ram and his problems least bothered me…. When I reached back to my cabin, Sri Laxmi was sitting there waiting….

Now what was that..?

Another ghost from the past?

Silence of vacuum!!!

GIM was a familiar place for me… the years of working there had made me known to GIM and GIM known to me so much so like my own home.. Not only the geography but also the populace, the smiles, the stares, the classified idiots, the politics, the economics and what not….

That is until I walked into the Kings cabin that day… Remember I had knighted myself NEW AND IMPROVED and with an impudent disdain had walked into the Kings cabin that evening,,,,

Welcome Sukesh Menon… announced Dr Joy when I walked in….

I wanted you to meet Professor Mathew Cherian , who will be joining us today… he said even as I was about to sit on a chair opposite to the King in his larger- than- the- oval -office cabin…

I hadn’t seen the guy until then, the sort of a semi old man with a notable face, a well combed extra oiled head and a dressing style that gave an impression at the very first glance.

Hello… he extended his arm to me and I did mine …..

He is professor Sukesh Menon.. said the King to the visitor…. teaching Marketing and also taking care of various other activities that are key to this B school….

I had a smile.. a real one this time that I was being praised by the king himself…

I was being acknowledged as the one who takes care of activities that were KEY to the B school..

By the way.. Sukesh… he would be the new head of the department of Marketing… Said the king as if a revelation…. You would be happy at this new arrangement….

Was I happy?

I didn’t know… I wasn’t unhappy for sure and even thought of the devil that was the ED and to whom the hapless faculty of GIM reported to….At least now there is this cushion called the HOD…..It was new to GIM… till that day the ED was the academic head and he was the bridge or the barrier (case to case it varied) between the faculty room and the HQ…

I still had a wonder pasted in my eyes as to why I was called to the king’s chamber… It surely would not be to introduce me to my new HOD ..Prof Mathew cherian…

How is the EMEP activity going? .. asked the King…

I wasn’t prepared for the question but had a ready made answer, now that the delegation was done and it was finally taking shape…

Since Anand mohan would not be available for some time, hope you would have made alternate arrangements … said the King ….

I didn’t like the statement…

Did he entrust me with the EMEP because Anand Mohan was with me and hence I could and would do it?

Was it for the abilities of Sukesh menon that he got the job or for his proximity to the man who had come, conquered and disappeared?

Yeah sir,,,, I said… but …

I know….. added the king in haste… I know it’s not easy to fill in the vacuum created by some one like Anand… but its fate,,, what can we do…?

He turned back and looked into the serene face of Lord Jesus Christ in a picture that hung from the wall. He sat there as if in meditation and even the guest, Prof Mathew joined him and I, with the silence deafening and threatening me sat there exchanging a not so serene glance at the lord…….

I have a lot of plans for you.. said the King as he came back to his bossy self… Lord Jesus still had the smile and tranquility in his face and I couldn’t help but keep seeing it…

We will discuss it in detail later… now can you take Prof Mathew to the faculty room?…

That again was new… it was the ED’s job to carry around any new entrants and introduce them to the rest of them… no one did any honours when people resigned and left GIM… either they left silent, or they did with lot of acrimony but honours were missing almost every time…

ME? … I asked in an unbelievably loud voice…

The king laughed, adjusting his large body in the larger than anyone's imagination chair which protested and grumbled and said…yeah .....you… I told you I have some plans for you….

Prof Mathew handed over a piece of paper to me on the way, which was his profile, his credentials, his travels, and degrees, his writings and articles and all the stuff which a typical arm chair academic will flaunt around with brazenness … I smiled with a spoof that was obvious to me but not to him which I could see from his grin …

I didn’t like the Royal messenger’s job but had to do it… the victorious look with which I carried myself into the chamber had lost in transit by the time I reached back the faculty room with the new HOD and his self advertising document which he expected me to read it to the unsuspecting crowd there…..

After leaving Prof Mathew with the mad crowd in the faculty room, who gathered around him like sniffer dogs would do at a crime spot, I left to oblivion… my own place where I took refuge whenever I felt a need to be alone…

The canteen,,,,

It was not empty… the kids were there everywhere…sitting, standing, running ,,…. At GIM that was the only place where they traveled back to their age and had fun, the tie and the formal attire still on…

Teachers in the canteen was not a comfortable sight for many, while some pretended that they hadn’t seen me, others did acknowledge the professor who walked in to spoil there 5 minutes of life between out of life and away from life classes where professors chalked and talked on business, management, ethics and what not….

I just wanted to be alone… and sooner than I expected the kids started running back. Ostensibly some inconsiderate and insensitive professor would be walking out of the faculty room full of fury and info that was waiting to be unloaded…

The tea and banana fry had lost its charm.. ever since I started hitting the GYM I was careful about what I ate…. Thanks to Anand…

Huh… why the hell should I thank him?… deep in my mind is there a fan still alive.. a fan who adored the star ,,,? Who got the smell of denim every time you think of him???

How is Anand sir? … asked some one who stood there right in front blocking my way and my vision….

The canteen manager flashed his pan coated teeth waiting for a reply…

Well… I dragged my foot as if I was searching for words.. I hadn’t got the question right.. and even if I had I wouldn’t know the answer….

Poor Anand sir… what a man he was…. The guy said as he walked back to his corner place where he strategically sat to collect money from the kids who came in groups and left in groups often strategically cheating the guy and putting his numerical and arithmetic abilities into severe testing…

God is so cruel..... he kept lamenting from his chair… Good people get the entire ordeal while the bad ones just grow and keep growing….

I couldn’t take the tea or the banana fry,,, it started tasting bitter… I couldn’t sit there either…

I AM NOT THAT BAD .. I wanted to shout…. But instead decided to walk out…

Cancer at this age… and for him… the guy looked into my face and said, when I paid and tried to move….

Did a sudden torrent of denim overwhelm me…?

Did I cry?